Ape™️ Posted March 10, 2018 Report Share Posted March 10, 2018 What an absolute pain in the fucking arse this is. My eyesight is, according to the company optician, generally excellent for my age (it’s partly due to genes, combined with lots of eye exercise) but suffering from what he describes as 40-itis. This means that I need 1.25 reading glasses to see cooking instructions (yes Pukeape - on my Tesco value meal, before you bother to open your stupid little mouth) and any other small print. But as I don’t require them for TV viewing, driving etc I never have the fucking shit-cunt things to hand when I need them. Drives me insane. Fuck off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Piston Posted March 10, 2018 Report Share Posted March 10, 2018 10 minutes ago, Ape said: What an absolute pain in the fucking arse this is. My eyesight is, according to the company optician, generally excellent for my age (it’s partly due to genes, combined with lots of eye exercise) but suffering from what he describes as 40-itis. This means that I need 1.25 reading glasses to see cooking instructions (yes Pukeape - on my Tesco value meal, before you bother to open your stupid little mouth) and any other small print. But as I don’t require them for TV viewing, driving etc I never have the fucking shit-cunt things to hand when I need them. Drives me insane. Fuck off. Euphemism of the week! but I'm out of likes. My advice...avoid using the specs as much as poss. Your (well my..) eyes seem to get used to and dependent upon them very quickly and you'll soon need a stronger pair, which will be even harder to fucking find...without an even stronger pair... I'm over hereby the way... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted March 10, 2018 Report Share Posted March 10, 2018 Time to go bionic, Ape? Bionic lens can make vision three times better than 20-20 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake The Muss Posted March 11, 2018 Report Share Posted March 11, 2018 I don't need glasses to read, as i can read this bollocks no problem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted March 11, 2018 Report Share Posted March 11, 2018 Getting varifocal glasses was the worst decision I ever made (apart from not paying attention at the glory hole on Clapham Common,in hindsight a pussy could never be that tight) the result now is that with 3 different lenses within one glass is that I can't focus properly on any fucking thing. £300 quid and constant fucking headaches is a bollocks. Opticians are cunts,they must have good eyes cos the cunts saw me coming 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cap'n Cunt Posted March 11, 2018 Report Share Posted March 11, 2018 14 hours ago, Cuntybaws said: Time to go bionic, Ape? Bionic lens can make vision three times better than 20-20 60-60 vision? You'd be able to see individual sperm. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted March 11, 2018 Report Share Posted March 11, 2018 4 hours ago, Neil said: Getting varifocal glasses was the worst decision I ever made (apart from not paying attention at the glory hole on Clapham Common,in hindsight a pussy could never be that tight) the result now is that with 3 different lenses within one glass is that I can't focus properly on any fucking thing. £300 quid and constant fucking headaches is a bollocks. Opticians are cunts,they must have good eyes cos the cunts saw me coming It comes as no surprise to me that the site's most prolific wanker has ended up as blind as a nymphomaniac mole. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted March 11, 2018 Report Share Posted March 11, 2018 17 minutes ago, Decimus said: It comes as no surprise to me that the site's most prolific wanker has ended up as blind as a nymphomaniac mole. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted March 11, 2018 Report Share Posted March 11, 2018 22 hours ago, Ape said: What an absolute pain in the fucking arse this is. My eyesight is, according to the company optician, generally excellent for my age (it’s partly due to genes, combined with lots of eye exercise) but suffering from what he describes as 40-itis. This means that I need 1.25 reading glasses to see cooking instructions (yes Pukeape - on my Tesco value meal, before you bother to open your stupid little mouth) and any other small print. But as I don’t require them for TV viewing, driving etc I never have the fucking shit-cunt things to hand when I need them. Drives me insane. Fuck off. At least you and your civil partner won’t be able to see all the cheap crap you gorge yourselves on from Tesco’s. lol. You blind twat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Earl Albert of Ross (Bt) Posted March 11, 2018 Report Share Posted March 11, 2018 What belongs to Tesco? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted March 11, 2018 Author Report Share Posted March 11, 2018 1 hour ago, Punkape said: At least you and your civil partner won’t be able to see all the cheap crap you gorge yourselves on from Tesco’s. lol. You blind twat. And there we have it - a perfect example of why you should never underestimate the predictability of stupidity. Despite the OP preempting a Tesco-based response from the dunce, still he had to post this hilarious response. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted March 11, 2018 Report Share Posted March 11, 2018 9 hours ago, Cap'n Cunt said: 60-60 vision? You'd be able to see individual sperm. Running down his glasses, no doubt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted March 11, 2018 Report Share Posted March 11, 2018 On 10/03/2018 at 7:36 PM, Ape said: What an absolute pain in the fucking arse this is. My eyesight is, according to the company optician, generally excellent for my age (it’s partly due to genes, combined with lots of eye exercise) but suffering from what he describes as 40-itis. This means that I need 1.25 reading glasses to see cooking instructions (yes Pukeape - on my Tesco value meal, before you bother to open your stupid little mouth) and any other small print. But as I don’t require them for TV viewing, driving etc I never have the fucking shit-cunt things to hand when I need them. Drives me insane. Fuck off. Eye excercise? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted March 11, 2018 Report Share Posted March 11, 2018 10 hours ago, Cap'n Cunt said: 60-60 vision? You'd be able to see individual sperm. Better than 20-20 would be 20-10, say, or 20-5. 7 minutes ago, Quincy Cockfingers said: Running down his glasses, no doubt. I don't wear glasses, so that's one in the eye for you. You may be thinking about your own experience downing pints of frothy body-temperature cum in one, before slamming down the empty glass and demanding the same again. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted March 11, 2018 Report Share Posted March 11, 2018 Windscreen then. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted March 11, 2018 Author Report Share Posted March 11, 2018 12 minutes ago, Quincy Cockfingers said: Eye excercise? If you read the legendary Monty Python thread, you’ll understand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted March 11, 2018 Report Share Posted March 11, 2018 On 10/03/2018 at 7:36 PM, Ape said: What an absolute pain in the fucking arse this is. My eyesight is, according to the company optician, generally excellent for my age (it’s partly due to genes, combined with lots of eye exercise) but suffering from what he describes as 40-itis. This means that I need 1.25 reading glasses to see cooking instructions (yes Pukeape - on my Tesco value meal, before you bother to open your stupid little mouth) and any other small print. But as I don’t require them for TV viewing, driving etc I never have the fucking shit-cunt things to hand when I need them. Drives me insane. Fuck off. So that's why you type a load of shit? I knew there was a good reason. 😉 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted March 11, 2018 Report Share Posted March 11, 2018 30 minutes ago, Ape said: If you read the legendary Monty Python thread, you’ll understand. Sum it up in no more than one dozen words, I’m resting my eyes you cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted March 11, 2018 Report Share Posted March 11, 2018 3 hours ago, Punkape said: At least you and your civil partner won’t be able to see all the cheap crap you gorge yourselves on from Tesco’s. lol. You blind twat. What are your thoughts on Cooperative Ready Meals? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted March 11, 2018 Report Share Posted March 11, 2018 On 10/03/2018 at 7:36 PM, Ape said: What an absolute pain in the fucking arse this is. My eyesight is, according to the company optician, generally excellent for my age (it’s partly due to genes, combined with lots of eye exercise) but suffering from what he describes as 40-itis. This means that I need 1.25 reading glasses to see cooking instructions (yes Pukeape - on my Tesco value meal, before you bother to open your stupid little mouth) and any other small print. But as I don’t require them for TV viewing, driving etc I never have the fucking shit-cunt things to hand when I need them. Drives me insane. Fuck off. With my artificial fixed focus cataract replacement implanted lenses I had the same problem .. Get yourself down to the Pound Shop and get a few pairs of reading glasses, leave a pair in your car and in a few other place where you are likely to need them .. and fuck off Punker's before you say anything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Roops Posted March 12, 2018 Report Share Posted March 12, 2018 6 hours ago, Ape said: And there we have it - a perfect example of why you should never underestimate the predictability of stupidity. Despite the OP preempting a Tesco-based response from the dunce, still he had to post this hilarious response. The stupidity was all yours. Under the Punkape.exe (Special Provisions) Rule, the offending comments would have been removed with Punkape coshed, bound and sent to the CC correctional facility for 28 days. Unfortunately you bought Punkape into the equation thereby making the rule null and void as he would otherwise be denied a right of reply. In short you derailed your own thread at the outset. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowy Posted March 12, 2018 Report Share Posted March 12, 2018 1 hour ago, Mrs Roops said: The stupidity was all yours. Under the Punkape.exe (Special Provisions) Rule, the offending comments would have been removed with Punkape coshed, bound and sent to the CC correctional facility for 28 days. Unfortunately you bought Punkape into the equation thereby making the rule null and void as he would otherwise be denied a right of reply. In short you derailed your own thread at the outset. A rule that funnily enough united the corner and made everyone be empathetic towards one of the the most snivelling little wankers this place has ever known. I am fully aware of the derailing thread part of said rule but you our taking away the very essence of the little prick and this rule could be applied to any member. I can no longer be a binman because Ive annoyed some sensitive cunt who takes this shit to serious , Quince can not shit on peoples chests and Eddie will have to send pictures of him washing cars instead of owning them, its a giant wormhole that you have opened up here. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted March 12, 2018 Report Share Posted March 12, 2018 4 hours ago, Mrs Roops said: The stupidity was all yours. Under the Punkape.exe (Special Provisions) Rule, the offending comments would have been removed with Punkape coshed, bound and sent to the CC correctional facility for 28 days. Unfortunately you bought Punkape into the equation thereby making the rule null and void as he would otherwise be denied a right of reply. In short you derailed your own thread at the outset. Really? Punkers would now be in the cooler had uncle ape not mentioned his blue stripe shopping habits in the OP? That's very easy for you to say in hindsight and we'll all be watching very closely to see if this, very harsh in my opinion, rule is applied to our cardboard box dwelling homo friend or indeed anyone else in the future. I very much doubt it though as every other thread is derailed almost immediately. To be honest, I don't really care though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Roops Posted March 12, 2018 Report Share Posted March 12, 2018 6 hours ago, Snowflake said: A rule that funnily enough united the corner and made everyone be empathetic towards one of the the most snivelling little wankers this place has ever known. I am fully aware of the derailing thread part of said rule but you our taking away the very essence of the little prick and this rule could be applied to any member. I can no longer be a binman because Ive annoyed some sensitive cunt who takes this shit to serious , Quince can not shit on peoples chests and Eddie will have to send pictures of him washing cars instead of owning them, its a giant wormhole that you have opened up here. The rule applies only to Punkape and a specific type of discourse posted within 48 hours of an OP. 4 hours ago, Stubby Pecker said: Really? Punkers would now be in the cooler had uncle ape not mentioned his blue stripe shopping habits in the OP? That's very easy for you to say in hindsight and we'll all be watching very closely to see if this, very harsh in my opinion, rule is applied to our cardboard box dwelling homo friend or indeed anyone else in the future. I very much doubt it though as every other thread is derailed almost immediately. To be honest, I don't really care though. The rule was applied recently resulting in a 14 day suspension. You seem to have changed your tune. Originally you were all for the rule, in fact you went further, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted March 12, 2018 Report Share Posted March 12, 2018 I don't mind Punkape, in so much that I mostly ignore anything that he posts unless he directly quotes me. Anyone who is genuinely annoyed or finds his contrived shit offensive is a total fucking idiot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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