Tim Martin, King of Pubs.

[Last Cunt Standing]

Now here’s a Cunt that should worry us all. Enough perhaps that the fucking Yokel sounds like he should be leaning on a gate in a smock and straw hat, or that he has clearly given his hairdresser an old Whitesnake album and told her to make it happen. The relentless march of his misery taverns should worry us too, with previously grand buildings like banks and post offices now reduced to informal care centres for the old, poor and halfwitted. His Politics are a complete turn off, though given his clientele I suspect it’s a rather neat marketing ploy rather a genuine Xenophobia, after all who doesn’t like a nice bit of jingoistic bollocks as you sup your filthy ale and poke your plastic Tikka Masala? But as soon as The Virus made landfall in Britain, this blockheaded cunt really began to excel himself. Demanding his crowded Cirrhosis factories were permitted to stay open in the face of advice, then as soon as the towels went on the pumps, sacking his workforce and telling them all to fuck off and work for Tesco. And to cap it all, the terrible prick was born in Norwich. I want the Cunt dead. 

[Cap'n Cunt]

I think he's all right. Burger and a pint for a fiver? Top man.

 

[Guest judgetwi]

I presume like all so called “entrepreneurs” he is a money grabbing cunt who likes to exploit cheap labour. My experience of Spoons is that at least the cheap labour is not foreign trash who suck up the resources that they haven’t paid for. 

If you don’t like Spoons, their clientele ( which I suspect is the object of your ire) or cheap booze and sausage and chips, then fuck off up the Cafe Royal and pay your way.

Edited March 28, 2020 by Mrs Roops

[camberwell gypsy]

11 hours ago, judgetwi said:

I presume like all so called “entrepreneurs” he is a money grabbing cunt who likes to exploit cheap labour. My experience of Spoons is that at least the cheap labour is not foreign trash who suck up the resources that they haven’t paid for. 

If you don’t like Spoons, their clientele ( which I suspect is the object of your ire) or cheap booze and sausage and chips, then fuck off up the Cafe Royal and pay your way.

I like Spoons. Good ale at a good price. 

[Last Cunt Standing]

11 hours ago, Cap'n Cunt said:

I think he's all right. Burger and a pint for a fiver? Top man.

 

Old

9 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

I like Spoons. Good ale at a good price. 

Poor

11 hours ago, judgetwi said:

I presume like all so called “entrepreneurs” he is a money grabbing cunt who likes to exploit cheap labour. My experience of Spoons is that at least the cheap labour is not foreign trash who suck up the resources that they haven’t paid for. 

If you don’t like Spoons, their clientele ( which I suspect is the object of your ire) or cheap booze and sausage and chips, then fuck off up the Cafe Royal and pay your way.

Halfwitted

House!

[Eddie]

3 hours ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

Old

Poor

Halfwitted

House!

you do seem to have a terrible inferiority complex, constantly trying to impress with your google doctor persona, you don't kid anyone, a fragile half wit at best.

[Guest Bill Stickers]

6 hours ago, judgetwi said:

I presume like all so called “entrepreneurs” he is a money grabbing cunt who likes to exploit cheap labour. My experience of Spoons is that at least the cheap labour is not foreign trash who suck up the resources that they haven’t paid for. 

If you don’t like Spoons, their clientele ( which I suspect is the object of your ire) or cheap booze and sausage and chips, then fuck off up the Cafe Royal and pay your way your pretentious fucking twat.

Whetherspoons has been responsible for decimating genuine local pubs, and instead of independent landlords and freehouses making cash across this country, all of it flows into their corporate holding company.

But you don’t really give a shit about helping your fellow working class by spending £1 more on a pint. Being a proud supporter of your class interest goes out the window when you can get a rat meat burger and nearly expired fosters for £4.99.

If it makes a millionaire a little richer while someone slums it behind the bar on a zero hours contract, who cares? 

[Guest judgetwi]

21 minutes ago, Bill Stickers said:

Whetherspoons has been responsible for decimating genuine local pubs, and instead of independent landlords and freehouses making cash across this country, all of it flows into their corporate holding company.

But you don’t really give a shit about helping your fellow working class by spending £1 more on a pint. Being a proud supporter of your class interest goes out the window when you can get a rat meat burger and nearly expired fosters for £4.99.

If it makes a millionaire a little richer while someone slums it behind the bar on a zero hours contract, who cares? 

As I said Smugboy “a money grabbing cunt who likes to exploit cheap labour.” I’d prefer it if you didn’t force me to quote myself as it makes me look a bit of a cunt.

Much better if you paid attention in the first place. Ok brainbox?

[Guest Bill Stickers]

6 hours ago, judgetwi said:

I presume like all so called “entrepreneurs” he is a money grabbing cunt who likes to exploit cheap labour. My experience of Spoons is that at least the cheap labour is not foreign trash who suck up the resources that they haven’t paid for. 

If you don’t like Spoons, their clientele ( which I suspect is the object of your ire) or cheap booze and sausage and chips, then fuck off up the Cafe Royal and pay your way your pretentious fucking twat.

When put into context, the rest of the quote sounds a lot like you’re defending both spoons and the fact you drink your life away there.

Let me know your haunt and table number when you buy your first pint in an hours time, and I’ll pick it up for you on the app.

[Earl of Punkape]

9 minutes ago, judgetwi said:

As I said Smugboy “a money grabbing cunt who likes to exploit cheap labour.” I’d prefer it if you didn’t force me to quote myself as it makes me look a bit of a cunt.

Much better if you paid attention in the first place. Ok brainbox?

Tim Martin helped to deliver Brexit and his pubs provide excellent value.

Most criticism of him is sour grapes from remoaner arseholes.

[Neil]

Cant stand the cunt,souping up cars,bikes and other vehicles just to go fast,his sideburns are shit too

[Hammer of Cunts]

Many of the more attractive towns are now infested with retired/downsized wankers and the original pubs sell only over-priced "gourmet" shite and expect the punters to dress smartly. We've even got pub theme- bars with stupid faux-naif names, ridiculous "artisan" beer and walls decorated with photos and trophies found at bootsales. The rest of the pubs are now "sports-bars" with massive tellys and lagered=up teenagers shouting over the noise. In many areas Wetherspoons is the closest thing to a proper pub, where you can have a reasonably priced pint and, as there's no piped music, you can hear what is being said and will, at least, know why the fight started.

Pubs do not sell food, those establishments are called "restaurants".

[Neil]

'Spoons' are shit pits frequented by chavs and sell shit food,ghastly fucking places.

[PANZER MURPHY]

I think his share price dropped £300 million the other day ..may explain the hair

PANZERMURPHYBABY 

[King Billy]

10 hours ago, PANZER MURPHY said:

I think his share price dropped £300 million the other day ..may explain the hair

PANZERMURPHYBABY 

I’d sooner have a pint in a Wetherspoons than venture into what they call pubs in Dublin. Let me explain for those fortunate enough never to have been to Dublin.

Having successfully managed to step over the piss soaked, begging bowl thrusting, emaciated wretches in filthy disease ridden sleeping bags and kicked a couple of mangy dogs attached to lengths of string and finally crossed the threshold into what can only be described as a Dickensian hovel, and that’s an understatement. Disgusting stone floor with pools of piss and shit, rats scurrying back and forth, (trying to find a way out probably) and groups of howling and cackling freaks spread out in groups around tables  and chairs which you wouldn’t even break a leg off to batter these breathing, grinning, toothless corpses round the head with to put  them out of their misery You’re ears are assaulted with a brain destroying racket which is emanating from  a group of 3 or 4 simpletons in the corner trying (very badly) to play music on fiddles and clapping and whooping like retarded halfwits, which they are. If you make it to the bar without having your pockets picked or being attacked by some paralytic imbecile who insists on arguing with you about something which only he understands then you will be welcomed by the bar oaf who will try to take your order while talking in some strange dialect about 2 inches from your face, covering you in saliva and mucus. He will then start laughing uncontrollably at some hilarious comment he thinks you’ve made and after about ten minutes he’ll give you completely the wrong drink in a filthy greasy cracked glass and not give you your change. He will then tell you you’re barred and produce a bat and smash you round the head while the drunken clientele will all start cheering and fighting each other. 

Wetherspoons curry and a pint for a fiver doesn’t seem that bad really. Does it?

[BuggerLugs]

14 hours ago, Earl of Punkape said:

Tim Martin helped to deliver Brexit and his pubs provide excellent value.

Most criticism of him is sour grapes from remoaner arseholes.

I like you Punkers. in fact, I'm inclined to afford you the secret knock which admits one to my local and now underground hostelry, ironically called "The Crown". 

There's artisan gins through to the ubiquitous Carling, mini golf in the beer garden and discounted beak dispensed via the bogs.

The landlord is making a killing.

[camberwell gypsy]

6 hours ago, King Billy said:

I’d sooner have a pint in a Wetherspoons than venture into what they call pubs in Dublin. Let me explain for those fortunate enough never to have been to Dublin.

Having successfully managed to step over the piss soaked, begging bowl thrusting, emaciated wretches in filthy disease ridden sleeping bags and kicked a couple of mangy dogs attached to lengths of string and finally crossed the threshold into what can only be described as a Dickensian hovel, and that’s an understatement. Disgusting stone floor with pools of piss and shit, rats scurrying back and forth, (trying to find a way out probably) and groups of howling and cackling freaks spread out in groups around tables  and chairs which you wouldn’t even break a leg off to batter these breathing, grinning, toothless corpses round the head with to put  them out of their misery You’re ears are assaulted with a brain destroying racket which is emanating from  a group of 3 or 4 simpletons in the corner trying (very badly) to play music on fiddles and clapping and whooping like retarded halfwits, which they are. If you make it to the bar without having your pockets picked or being attacked by some paralytic imbecile who insists on arguing with you about something which only he understands then you will be welcomed by the bar oaf who will try to take your order while talking in some strange dialect about 2 inches from your face, covering you in saliva and mucus. He will then start laughing uncontrollably at some hilarious comment he thinks you’ve made and after about ten minutes he’ll give you completely the wrong drink in a filthy greasy cracked glass and not give you your change. He will then tell you you’re barred and produce a bat and smash you round the head while the drunken clientele will all start cheering and fighting each other. 

Wetherspoons curry and a pint for a fiver doesn’t seem that bad really. Does it?

Sounds like Kellies in Peckham.  Not sure if it's still there. May have been burnt to the ground. However, this pub was a Jekyll and Hyde pub. In the afternoon it was a respectable hostelry that had many of the staff from the Town Hall and Housing Office frequent it for their lunchtime drinks and sarnies. However, come the evening it turned into something that resembled dear old Billy's description. Blood and vomit up the walls and carpet, whores plying their trade in the dark recesses, fights, glassings, debauchery. It was fucking hell on earth. Mind you, beating the shit out of drunk cunts and nicking their wallets got me a bit of extra money. 

[Eric Cuntman]

36 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Sounds like Kellies in Peckham.  Not sure if it's still there. May have been burnt to the ground. However, this pub was a Jekyll and Hyde pub. In the afternoon it was a respectable hostelry that had many of the staff from the Town Hall and Housing Office frequent it for their lunchtime drinks and sarnies. However, come the evening it turned into something that resembled dear old Billy's description. Blood and vomit up the walls and carpet, whores plying their trade in the dark recesses, fights, glassings, debauchery. It was fucking hell on earth. Mind you, beating the shit out of drunk cunts and nicking their wallets got me a bit of extra money. 

Fucking hell. Now you're all clever again. I'm all confused and no mistake. 

I hope I die from Hong-Kong-Fluey. It's just easier. 

[Trucking Funt]

59 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Sounds like Kellies in Peckham.  Not sure if it's still there. May have been burnt to the ground. However, this pub was a Jekyll and Hyde pub. In the afternoon it was a respectable hostelry that had many of the staff from the Town Hall and Housing Office frequent it for their lunchtime drinks and sarnies. However, come the evening it turned into something that resembled dear old Billy's description. Blood and vomit up the walls and carpet, whores plying their trade in the dark recesses, fights, glassings, debauchery. It was fucking hell on earth. Mind you, beating the shit out of drunk cunts and nicking their wallets got me a bit of extra money. 

Christ! How old are you? I vaguely remember that place being on my dad's Friday night pub crawl. Did you ever drink in the Prince Albert?

[PANZER MURPHY]

13 hours ago, King Billy said:

I’d sooner have a pint in a Wetherspoons than venture into what they call pubs in Dublin. Let me explain for those fortunate enough never to have been to Dublin.

Having successfully managed to step over the piss soaked, begging bowl thrusting, emaciated wretches in filthy disease ridden sleeping bags and kicked a couple of mangy dogs attached to lengths of string and finally crossed the threshold into what can only be described as a Dickensian hovel, and that’s an understatement. Disgusting stone floor with pools of piss and shit, rats scurrying back and forth, (trying to find a way out probably) and groups of howling and cackling freaks spread out in groups around tables  and chairs which you wouldn’t even break a leg off to batter these breathing, grinning, toothless corpses round the head with to put  them out of their misery You’re ears are assaulted with a brain destroying racket which is emanating from  a group of 3 or 4 simpletons in the corner trying (very badly) to play music on fiddles and clapping and whooping like retarded halfwits, which they are. If you make it to the bar without having your pockets picked or being attacked by some paralytic imbecile who insists on arguing with you about something which only he understands then you will be welcomed by the bar oaf who will try to take your order while talking in some strange dialect about 2 inches from your face, covering you in saliva and mucus. He will then start laughing uncontrollably at some hilarious comment he thinks you’ve made and after about ten minutes he’ll give you completely the wrong drink in a filthy greasy cracked glass and not give you your change. He will then tell you you’re barred and produce a bat and smash you round the head while the drunken clientele will all start cheering and fighting each other. 

Wetherspoons curry and a pint for a fiver doesn’t seem that bad really. Does it?

That sounds like a great night  out and not a fruit gambling machine thing or a gormless numpty feeding coins into it in sight.

PANZERMURPHYBABY 

[White Cunt]

On 28/03/2020 at 08:09, PANZER MURPHY said:

I think his share price dropped £300 million the other day ..may explain the hair

PANZERMURPHYBABY 

May explain Tesco encouragement.

[camberwell gypsy]

8 hours ago, Trucking Funt said:

Christ! How old are you? I vaguely remember that place being on my dad's Friday night pub crawl. Did you ever drink in the Prince Albert?

Bellenden Road?

[King Billy]

25 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Bellenden Road?

Bellend Road?

[Trucking Funt]

4 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Bellenden Road?

That's the one. As I remember, it used to get rather lively in there of an evening. I saw my first glassing in there when I was a slip of a lad. My old chap also used to drink in the conservative club when it was at Hanover park just behind the Houndstitch. Most of the punters were war veterans who wished Hitler had won.

[camberwell gypsy]

4 minutes ago, Trucking Funt said:

That's the one. As I remember, it used to get rather lively in there of an evening. I saw my first glassing in there when I was a slip of a lad. My old chap also used to drink in the conservative club when it was at Hanover park just behind the Houndstitch. Most of the punters were war veterans who wished Hitler had won.

Yeah that sounds like it. If a black man walked in, everything would stop.