Pontins

[Penny Farthing]

So here I am sir and I have an oirish sounding surname (the same as Robocop) yet I feel no affiliation with the emerald isle and cannot trace a single ancestor back to the fabled isle. However I try to book a week at Pontins and my name flags up as a potential traveller who sharpens knives, sells lucky heather for a living and lives in a mobile home. What a load of cunts.

https://www.rte.ie/news/2021/0302/1200403-pontins-travellers/

[Neil]

Pontins and their like is full of cunts anyway but what they've done is what loads of others would like to do,ban the fucking dirty,cheating,lying scumbag pikeys from their premesis.The best type of pikey is Fred Barras.Tony Martin I salute you.

[Cuntybaws]

It's hard to believe that anyone at Pontins was actually stupid enough to write down a list. When some Irish-sounding cunt called O'Riley rings up to make a booking, how fucking dense do you have to be to think, "Ah, I'll just check to see if that name's on the list"?

[camberwell gypsy]

Most travelers campsites are a damn sight better than Pontins anyway. 

[Dyslexic cnut]

15 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Most travelers campsites are a damn sight better than Pontins anyway. 

Nothing a decent flamethrower couldn’t rectify.

[Decimus]

It's a stupid fucking policy. Plenty of Irish people have surnames of English origin, including travellers, and plenty of English and Scottish people have surnames of Irish origin, but no connection in living memory to Ireland.

Stupid fucking cunts, just like the brain dead fucking peasants who choose to holiday there.

[White Cunt]

3 hours ago, Cuntybaws said:

It's hard to believe that anyone at Pontins was actually stupid enough to write down a list. When some Irish-sounding cunt called O'Riley rings up to make a booking, how fucking dense do you have to be to think, "Ah, I'll just check to see if that name's on the list"?

I’m sure the list was designed for those imported hands.

[Last Cunt Standing]

Personally I much prefer Maplins. I seem to recall they too had a gypsy problem once, resolved when Ted Bovis had a bare-knuckle fight with Paddy Doherty, Gladys Pugh was forced to sell her xylophone for scrap, and Peggy was passed around mercilessly by the Tarmac crew before being sold to some Albanian Human Traffickers. 

Gritty episode that. Real pathos.

[Jiggerycock]

6 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

Personally I much prefer Maplins. I seem to recall they too had a gypsy problem once, resolved when Ted Bovis had a bare-knuckle fight with Paddy Doherty, Gladys Pugh was forced to sell her xylophone for scrap, and Peggy was passed around mercilessly by the Tarmac crew before being sold to some Albanian Human Traffickers. 

Gritty episode that. Real pathos.

Yeah - put me in mind of Gielgud's 'Lear' at Stratford in '58, cept without the poofiness.

[Last Cunt Standing]

17 minutes ago, Jiggerycock said:

Yeah - put me in mind of Gielgud's 'Lear' at Stratford in '58, cept without the poofiness.

They are still talking about Ken Branagh’s Bottom all these years later, too. 

[Old Chap Raasclaat]

12 hours ago, Dawn Chorus said:

So here I am sir and I have an oirish sounding surname (the same as Robocop) yet I feel no affiliation with the emerald isle and cannot trace a single ancestor back to the fabled isle. However I try to book a week at Pontins and my name flags up as a potential traveller who sharpens knives, sells lucky heather for a living and lives in a mobile home. What a load of cunts.

https://www.rte.ie/news/2021/0302/1200403-pontins-travellers/

I know they are letting tranny's into schools to read to kids but at least Pontins have stopped you getting a performance gig during the summer. Whatever excuse they gave you was bollocks, they knew you were a bloke during the zoom call...those massive hands and stubble were a giveaway.

[Eric Cuntman]

Pontins, Hemsby.

@Decimus knows how fucking dismal it was.

[Decimus]

43 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Pontins, Hemsby.

@Decimus knows how fucking dismal it was.

Fuck me, I'll take a picture of it soon and put it in the gallery.

[Eric Cuntman]

1 hour ago, Decimus said:

Fuck me, I'll take a picture of it soon and put it in the gallery.

It looked like a concentration camp when it was up and running. I imagine the sight of it now could inspire suicidal tendencies in the chirpiest spacker. 

[Trucking Funt]

2 hours ago, Decimus said:

Fuck me, I'll take a picture of it soon and put it in the gallery.

Here's one.

[Eric Cuntman]

1 minute ago, Trucking Funt said:

Here's one.

Around 2005, someone I know had booked a week there and they couldn't go because of family problems. He said I could take Mrs C because he couldn't get a refund. The most miserable 5 days I've ever had. big, deserted, dreary lifeless shithole.

[King Billy]

15 hours ago, Dawn Chorus said:

So here I am sir and I have an oirish sounding surname (the same as Robocop) yet I feel no affiliation with the emerald isle and cannot trace a single ancestor back to the fabled isle. However I try to book a week at Pontins and my name flags up as a potential traveller who sharpens knives, sells lucky heather for a living and lives in a mobile home. What a load of cunts.

https://www.rte.ie/news/2021/0302/1200403-pontins-travellers/

They just might not want a man flopping their whopper out in the women’s toilet. Seems a lot more likely to me than all this discrimination nonsense.

[Neil]

I remember back in the days when the parents fucked off to the bar and ballroom and left their kids in the chalets asleep. There was someone who rode around the camp making a note of which chalet had a crying baby in it and then they cycled back to the main hall and chalked the chalet number on a board under the heading 'Baby Crying In Chalet ........

If the parents could be arsed they kept an eye on the board to see if their number came up and then if they could be bothered to put their babycham down they toodled off back to see if they could shut the little fucker up. Now you know why Hemsby has a plethora of paedos living nearby,the perfect job,unattended chalets full of upset children just waiting to be errrr....comforted. Happy days.

[Trucking Funt]

9 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Around 2005, someone I know had booked a week there and they couldn't go because of family problems. He said I could take Mrs C because he couldn't get a refund. The most miserable 5 days I've ever had. big, deserted, dreary lifeless shithole.

Who was it who said you should never look a gift horse in the mouth?

[Penny Farthing]

9 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Around 2005, someone I know had booked a week there and they couldn't go because of family problems. He said I could take Mrs C because he couldn't get a refund. The most miserable 5 days I've ever had. big, deserted, dreary lifeless shithole.

Weren't some of the original ones former POW camps?

[Penny Farthing]

5 minutes ago, Trucking Funt said:

Who was it who said you should never look a gift horse in the mouth?

Probably some cunt from Peebles or Prestonpans.

[Cunty BigBollox]

10 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

 He said I could take Mrs C because he couldn't get a refund. The most miserable 5 days I've ever had. big, deserted, dreary lifeless shithole.

What a way to describe Mrs C. I'm beginning to think you're not a very pleasant chap Eric.

[Dyslexic cnut]

10 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Around 2005, someone I know had booked a week there and they couldn't go because of family problems. He said I could take Mrs C because he couldn't get a refund. The most miserable 5 days I've ever had. big, deserted, dreary lifeless shithole.

....but she was good to the kids!

[camberwell gypsy]

1 hour ago, Neil said:

I remember back in the days when the parents fucked off to the bar and ballroom and left their kids in the chalets asleep. There was someone who rode around the camp making a note of which chalet had a crying baby in it and then they cycled back to the main hall and chalked the chalet number on a board under the heading 'Baby Crying In Chalet ........

If the parents could be arsed they kept an eye on the board to see if their number came up and then if they could be bothered to put their babycham down they toodled off back to see if they could shut the little fucker up. Now you know why Hemsby has a plethora of paedos living nearby,the perfect job,unattended chalets full of upset children just waiting to be errrr....comforted. Happy days.

Weren't Savile a red coat? "Now then now then. Don't you worry about little Jemina. Uncle Jimmy will pop along to your chalet and soothe her. Ughaughaughaugh".

[Dyslexic cnut]

1 hour ago, Neil said:

I remember back in the days when the parents fucked off to the bar and ballroom and left their kids in the chalets asleep. There was someone who rode around the camp making a note of which chalet had a crying baby in it and then they cycled back to the main hall and chalked the chalet number on a board under the heading 'Baby Crying In Chalet ........

If the parents could be arsed they kept an eye on the board to see if their number came up and then if they could be bothered to put their babycham down they toodled off back to see if they could shut the little fucker up. Now you know why Hemsby has a plethora of paedos living nearby,the perfect job,unattended chalets full of upset children just waiting to be errrr....comforted. Happy days.

Luxury. My only holiday was to a caravan site in North Wales. Dad’s car broke down four times en route, the caravan was a rotten minging & fucked heap that was his mate’s, by far the worst on the site. When we got there we were told to fuck off & pick blackberries while Daddy went to the alehouse. Cunt came back four hours later and saw the caravan door was hanging off and we were all shitting liquid black currant everywhere. Took, his belt off to us and called us ‘ungrateful bastards!’ Kid’s today sulk if the wifi’s not fast enough in their 5 star all inclusive overseas resort (probably in Cape Verde)...cunts.