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People who bimble about


Jiggerycock

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I can't tell you how great it is to rediscover a bit of bile and to be able to vent spleen once more.

For a good several months I really thought I was in danger of going gently into that good night and cementing a 'well it's not that bad really' attitude to life and my fellow men.

Fuck me gently, I may as well have grown a man bun and become a vegan!!

Happily, all this has changed via the predictable route, viz, a trip to my local supermarket....

.....wherein the zombie shoppers come to drool and point, shuffling their unfocused ways around the aisles, leavened by the occasional dead-stop in front of me to do, well I'm not altogether sure. Stare into space generally, sometimes shout at their idiot offspring (Chlamydia and Mmm-Denone), or to converse with their droid friends about how they 'mustn't grumble' or some such.

Anyway, it feels real good to be prescribing the Nitromors Enema and flamethrower treatment once more!

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I've noticed that some some supermarkets open their doors early, with their tills closed, so that mouth-breathers can wander about, fondling the produce and grunting at each other.

A couple of weeks ago, I was caught out on by this and told I had to wait 20 mins to pay for a paper and a packet of fags. When I suggested to the manager that he was taking the piss, he told me that I was swearing and banned me.

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12 minutes ago, Hammer of Cunts said:

I've noticed that some some supermarkets open their doors early, with their tills closed, so that mouth-breathers can wander about, fondling the produce and grunting at each other.

A couple of weeks ago, I was caught out on by this and told I had to wait 20 mins to pay for a paper and a packet of fags. When I suggested to the manager that he was taking the piss, he told me that I was swearing and banned me.

Go to the corner shop. No self-service bollocks to deal with. Plus… at 10pm, you can get bread, milk, fags, a newspaper, a copy of ‘Fly Fishing’ by J.R Hartley, and a sump gasket for a Ford Focus.

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22 minutes ago, Hammer of Cunts said:

I've noticed that some some supermarkets open their doors early, with their tills closed, so that mouth-breathers can wander about, fondling the produce and grunting at each other.

A couple of weeks ago, I was caught out on by this and told I had to wait 20 mins to pay for a paper and a packet of fags. When I suggested to the manager that he was taking the piss, he told me that I was swearing and banned me.

 

12 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Go to the corner shop. No self-service bollocks to deal with. Plus… at 10pm, you can get bread, milk, fags, a newspaper, a copy of ‘Fly Fishing’ by J.R Hartley, and a sump gasket for a Ford Focus.

Agreed, I was raging about this seven years ago and I still am to this day.

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47 minutes ago, Decimus said:

 

Agreed, I was raging about this seven years ago and I still am to this day.

The difference being that Jiggers nom is clear and concise, whereas yours.. back in 2015, was long-winded incomprehensible trite. To be fair, you have improved over the years.

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I fucking hate the cunts who get off the escalator and just stand there to momentarily work out if they want to go left, right or straight ahead. Just get the fuckity fuck out of the fucking way as more people are behind you on a mechanical contraption they have no control over, you cunts. I bet that cunt Ape does this.

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4 minutes ago, Cunty BigBollox said:

I fucking hate the cunts who get off the escalator and just stand there to momentarily work out if they want to go left, right or straight ahead. Just get the fuckity fuck out of the fucking way as more people are behind you on a mechanical contraption they have no control over, you cunts. I bet that cunt Ape does this.

Do they have escalators in Guthrum’s Land?

 

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1 hour ago, Decimus said:

 

Out of genuine concern for Frank's well-being, I sent 50+ of his posts to my granddaughter who is studying psychiatry at Uni. I asked a straightforward question 'Is this man suffering from palilalia?' After due consideration, she has replied, stating that this might well  be the case, but in all probability, he is an oily cunt, well suited to living under a wooden bridge.

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4 minutes ago, Cunty BigBollox said:

I fucking hate the cunts who get off the escalator and just stand there to momentarily work out if they want to go left, right or straight ahead. Just get the fuckity fuck out of the fucking way as more people are behind you on a mechanical contraption they have no control over, you cunts. I bet that cunt Ape does this.

Fuck me - what an absolute tool you are.

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12 minutes ago, Cunty BigBollox said:

I fucking hate the cunts who get off the escalator and just stand there to momentarily work out if they want to go left, right or straight ahead. Just get the fuckity fuck out of the fucking way as more people are behind you on a mechanical contraption they have no control over, you cunts. I bet that cunt Ape does this.

They are probably looking around to see where the smell of stale piss is coming from.

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10 minutes ago, Cunty BigBollox said:

I fucking hate the cunts who get off the escalator and just stand there to momentarily work out if they want to go left, right or straight ahead. Just get the fuckity fuck out of the fucking way as more people are behind you on a mechanical contraption they have no control over, you cunts. I bet that cunt Ape does this.

As far as I can tell, you've dedicated your life to two things.

1: Being absolutely fucking smashed for every waking second of the day.

2: Living in a bungalow.

For you to now criticise people for not having the motor skills to navigate stairs, even motorised ones, is somewhat fucking hypocritical.

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22 minutes ago, Cunty BigBollox said:

I fucking hate the cunts who get off the escalator and just stand there to momentarily work out if they want to go left, right or straight ahead. Just get the fuckity fuck out of the fucking way as more people are behind you on a mechanical contraption they have no control over, you cunts. I bet that cunt Ape does this.

It's little wonder punters collectively refer to you as a painfully unfunny drunken idiot, is it? We can't all be wrong.

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11 minutes ago, Decimus said:

As far as I can tell, you've dedicated your life to two things.

1: Being absolutely fucking smashed for every waking second of the day.

2: Living in a bungalow.

For you to now criticise people for not having the motor skills to navigate stairs, even motorised ones, is somewhat fucking hypocritical.

Don’t forget 3: Being a tedious prick who posts reams of infantile nonsense on CC.

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46 minutes ago, Cunty BigBollox said:

I fucking hate the cunts who get off the escalator and just stand there to momentarily work out if they want to go left, right or straight ahead. Just get the fuckity fuck out of the fucking way as more people are behind you on a mechanical contraption they have no control over, you cunts. I bet that cunt Ape does this.

The other day my Ming was struggling to say the word ‘develop’. ‘DevverLOP’ she said, over and over and over, like an idiot. I sat her down and told her to breathe.. take it slowly and break it down to these three syllables… ‘de-vehl-urp’. After much focus she turned around and said ‘DevverLOP’’. True story. I swear to god CB, I can’t stand to look at her anymore. 

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2 minutes ago, Frank said:

The other day my Ming was struggling to say the word ‘develop’. ‘DevverLOP’ she said, over and over and over, like an idiot. I sat her down and told her to breathe.. take it slowly and break it down to these three syllables… ‘de-vehl-urp’. After much focus she said ‘DevverLOP’’. True story. I swear to god CB, I can’t stand to look at her anymore. 

Are you a ventriloquist?

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