The Cenotaph Anorak v2.0

[Frank]

1 hour ago, Wolfie said:

That's not the point LCS – and you know it. Rather than admitting the unmistakable stupidity of your comment, you're arrogantly (again) putting a defensive twist on what is a cringeworthy schoolboy error.

Ok, if The Queen has pulled her back, what's the prognosis for a 95 year-old woman? Presumably rest, painkillers, and not attending public events would play a fitting role in the recovery process, yes?

Sometimes, I think you're quite bright, though more often than not I thank my lucky stars I never rocked up at your surgery – that's if it actually ever existed. 

What's going on here Wolfers? Would I be write to assume it's way above my station?

[Dyslexic cnut]

1 hour ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

Us Brits? I’m still the holder of a British passport, even it has changed colour of late. That I use it as a coffee coaster is neither here nor there. Now please go dust your nearest major railway line. 

This suggests you have fairly recently had a renewal. One question…why bother if the country’s clearly only worthy of your derision and contempt? You’re coming across as something of a cunt on here lately, Doc.

[Dyslexic cnut]

3 minutes ago, Frank said:

What's going on here Wolfers? Would I be write to assume it's way above my station?

LCS has a daily feature on here, Frank…it’s called ‘Postcard from a Prick.’ All very dull and somewhat ‘convictish!’

[Frank]

1 hour ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

LCS has a daily feature on here, Frank…it’s called ‘Postcard from a Prick.’ All very dull and somewhat ‘convictish!’

You know I'm not keen on anyone, but I'm rather fond of LCS. Nothing amuses me more than watching the wooden Wolf fail every time he comes up against the man.

[Decimus]

1 hour ago, Frank said:

What's going on here Wolfers? Would I be write to assume it's way above my station?

Mayfair was launched in 1992 with the slogan "A good smoke at a fair price". The brand is Gallaher Group's leading value cigarette brand. Mayfair is one of the least expensive cigarette brands in the U.K., despite its name presumably being chosen to evoke the glamour of Mayfair, the famous London district.

By 2007 Mayfair had become the second most popular cigarette brand in the U.K., with total sales of £663 million.

In 2012, the brand's 20th anniversary, JTI introduced a limited edition pack, from 1 August, for two months only, with packs feature a modern new background and a 3-D crest, as well as the introduction of a "20 Years of Quality" message on-pack and a coloured inner foil.

[Eric Cuntman]

4 hours ago, Decimus said:

Mayfair was launched in 1992 with the slogan "A good smoke at a fair price". The brand is Gallaher Group's leading value cigarette brand. Mayfair is one of the least expensive cigarette brands in the U.K., despite its name presumably being chosen to evoke the glamour of Mayfair, the famous London district.

By 2007 Mayfair had become the second most popular cigarette brand in the U.K., with total sales of £663 million.

In 2012, the brand's 20th anniversary, JTI introduced a limited edition pack, from 1 August, for two months only, with packs feature a modern new background and a 3-D crest, as well as the introduction of a "20 Years of Quality" message on-pack and a coloured inner foil.

Jerry and Kate McCann only smoke Mayfair. It's what Maddie would have wanted.

[Decimus]

59 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Jerry and Kate McCann only smoke Mayfair. It's what Maddie would have wanted.

As far as I'm aware, Frank is a father to two daughters. What sort of man, or more importantly parent, could defend the actions of Kate and Gerry? 

Maybe the middle classes genuinely believe that there's no issue in leaving tiny children unattended whilst they go out and eat pretentious food whilst getting fucked up on over priced wine. Call me a working class oik, but I believe in protecting my kids to the death, and I wouldn't ever dream of sacrificing their safety for my own gratification.

Frank, the McCanns and every other key swapping, olive eating, stuck up fucking cunt should be ashamed of themselves.

[White Cunt]

7 hours ago, Dead Penelope said:

LCS the old lady is 95. At that age if you drop a plastic bottle on your foot you will probably need 6 months of recuperation. Is there any particular reason why you have hung on to your UK passport and hang out with British expats .. are you homesick for the old country?

I put it down to fucking around with a crown and falling down. It’s not a walk in the park - old lizard hands are losing grip. 

Anyway, not long now before she croaks it. Bank holiday, anyone?

[Dyslexic cnut]

16 minutes ago, Decimus said:

As far as I'm aware, Frank is a father to two daughters. What sort of man, or more importantly parent, could defend the actions of Kate and Gerry? 

Maybe the middle classes genuinely believe that there's no issue in leaving tiny children unattended whilst they go out and eat pretentious food whilst getting fucked up on over priced wine. Call me a working class oik, but I believe in protecting my kids to the death, and I wouldn't ever dream of sacrificing their safety for my own gratification.

Frank, the McCanns and every other key swapping, olive eating, stuck up fucking cunt should be ashamed of themselves.

Fuckin working class oik…they’re only kids Decs, anything goes pear-shaped, you’re young enough to have more ffs!

[Neil]

6 hours ago, Decimus said:

Mayfair was launched in 1992 with the slogan "A good smoke at a fair price". The brand is Gallaher Group's leading value cigarette brand. Mayfair is one of the least expensive cigarette brands in the U.K., despite its name presumably being chosen to evoke the glamour of Mayfair, the famous London district.

By 2007 Mayfair had become the second most popular cigarette brand in the U.K., with total sales of £663 million.

In 2012, the brand's 20th anniversary, JTI introduced a limited edition pack, from 1 August, for two months only, with packs feature a modern new background and a 3-D crest, as well as the introduction of a "20 Years of Quality" message on-pack and a coloured inner foil.

I bet you're fun at dinner parties.

[Stubby Pecker]

2 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Jerry and Kate McCann only smoke Mayfair. It's what Maddie would have wanted.

I’m guessing Frank is either incredulous with rage or crying like a girl at this point. Don’t expect a response, he hasn’t the balls.

I’ll also wager Dr Kate was probably smoking a pole, not a cig when her child was left completely alone and unattended. In a foreign country. At night. In an unlocked room.

[Decimus]

30 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said:

I’m guessing Frank is either incredulous with rage or crying like a girl at this point. Don’t expect a response, he hasn’t the balls.

I’ll also wager Dr Kate was probably smoking a pole, not a cig when her child was left completely alone and unattended. In a foreign country. At night. In an unlocked room.

Kate and Gerry were also close friends with Clement Freud...Kate also made references to Maddie's "perfect little genitals" in her book.

Do you still want to defend these two disgusting freaks, @Frank?

[Cuntybaws]

19 minutes ago, Decimus said:

Kate also made references to Maddie's "perfect little genitals" in her book.

Ironically, the thought of Kate's battered and leathery genitals being torn part, perhaps by hungry dogs, cheers me up immensely.

[King Billy]

12 hours ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

Queenie has pulled her back apparently, perhaps tending to an errant Corgi. She is reportedly disappointed to miss out.

Are we buying this? Could she not be sat down in a window, or pushed in a wheelchair, smacked up on Tramadol? 

Distinct whiff of bullshit in my view.

I watched the entire service this morning, as always regaled in bowler hat, sash and crombie. Although I felt a heart crushing wave of sorrow and disappointment on hearing the news that Her Majesty was unable to attend, I was able to find some solace once the rest of the ‘firm’ appeared minus Harry in full SS ceremonial uniform, or Andrew representing Epstein Island and proudly displaying his Jim l Fixit medal. 
But the icing on the Battenburg cake for me as a traditionalist, was the tearjerking moment when the recently included LGBTQ+ representative placed his wreath on the Cenotaph. 
Although I was sobbing uncontrollably by this stage, I couldn’t help but  think how proud Paddy Maine would be if he could’ve been there.

[Frank]

2 hours ago, Decimus said:

Kate and Gerry were also close friends with Clement Freud...Kate also made references to Maddie's "perfect little genitals" in her book.

Do you still want to defend these two disgusting freaks, @Frank?

Do you know why Clement Freud featured on the album cover of Band on the Run?

 

[Eddie]

12 minutes ago, Frank said:

Do you know why Clement Freud featured on the album cover of Band on the Run?

 

Never mind this shit Frank, I’ve just watched the new bond film and the new 007 is a darkie! What do you make of that?

[Frank]

14 minutes ago, Eddie said:

Never mind this shit Frank, I’ve just watched the new bond film and the new 007 is a darkie! What do you make of that?

It was my birthday today, Eddie. You won't believe this, but my wife bought me the very rare L'Essentiel Des Albums Studio 1960-1974... Léo Ferré's finest. It's a compilation box set of eleven CD's with a beautiful leather-bound embossed booklet. Don't ever ask me about bond films again. 

[King Billy]

4 minutes ago, Eddie said:

the new 007 is a darkie! What do you make of that?

Apart from where to place his snide Dagenham market DVD copy on the shelf marked ‘Lockdown Exercise Routines, in his filthy bedroom? If I had to guess, somewhere in between How to beat cancer for the sixth time when everyone you know hopes you won’t, and Ten foolproof suicide tips for AIDS riddled idiots.’

[Eddie]

22 minutes ago, Frank said:

It was my birthday today, Eddie. You won't believe this, but my wife bought me the very rare L'Essentiel Des Albums Studio 1960-1974... Léo Ferré's finest. It's a compilation box set of eleven CD's with a beautiful leather-bound embossed booklet. Don't ever ask me about bond films again. 

The woman is a heartless slag, what a shit birthday present, I would understand 💯 if you strangled her in her sleep. Crack on. 

[Eric Cuntman]

14 hours ago, Frank said:

Do you know why Clement Freud featured on the album cover of Band on the Run?

 

Because the butter wouldn't melt.

[Wolfie]

20 hours ago, Frank said:

It was my birthday today, Eddie. You won't believe this, but my wife bought me the very rare L'Essentiel Des Albums Studio 1960-1974... Léo Ferré's finest. It's a compilation box set of eleven CD's with a beautiful leather-bound embossed booklet. Don't ever ask me about bond films again. 

You took the words right out of my mouth. What loving and self-respecting spouse wouldn't tolerate her husband spending most of his free time mincing around singles bars and restaurants in London's West End, filming and taking photos of menus, plates of food, cocktails, manbags, sunglasses, his feet and newcomers as they walk through the door?

[Decimus]

18 minutes ago, Wolfie said:

You took the words right out of my mouth. What loving and self-respecting spouse wouldn't tolerate her husband spending most of his free time mincing around singles bars and restaurants in London's West End, filming and taking photos of menus, plates of food, cocktails, manbags, sunglasses, his feet and newcomers as they walk through the door?

The man is an utter fucking creep, Wolfie. 

Imagine if you were a total cunt and stupid enough to pay £365 a head for a three course meal in a West End restaurant. You certainly wouldn't expect to then be eyeballed for the entire evening by some effeminate Will Gompertz with cancer looking faggot on the opposite table. 

How many pretentious wankers have had their dining experience ruined by this cunt furtively snapping pictures of them whilst he surreptitiously peeks out from behind Kate McCann's autobiography?

I hope that Jay Rayner fucks him to death in The Ivy's toilets before the year is out.

 

[Goober]

20 hours ago, Frank said:

It was my birthday today, Eddie. You won't believe this, but my wife bought me the very rare L'Essentiel Des Albums Studio 1960-1974... Léo Ferré's finest. It's a compilation box set of eleven CD's with a beautiful leather-bound embossed booklet. Don't ever ask me about bond films again. 

You must have an internet connected smart freezer. Very thoughtful of you, Francis. 

Now she's bought your present you can remotely turn the freezer setting up again and then unplug the router.