ProfB Posted May 11, 2021 Report Share Posted May 11, 2021 7 minutes ago, White Cunt said: Only under size fourteen, though. I am full of beans 😊 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted May 11, 2021 Report Share Posted May 11, 2021 6 hours ago, Goober said: Cricket was what made me realise I was getting old. One season you're fine, the next it took a week to recover from 12 overs off a long run up before doing it again the following weekend. It got to the point where I prayed for rain at the weekends. Ditto. I was quite the tear away fast bowler until I hit 40, and you’re right- 12 overs up the hill and it took me half an hour to get out of bed on a Sunday. I had 1 game last year bowling what could only be classed as medium-slow. Part of me would love to play again as I loved the needle and making the batsmen look stupid when I knocked their poles out, but I’ve not the time or the willingness to look a total cunt and spend 3 days in agonizing pain. Getting old real is a cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted May 11, 2021 Report Share Posted May 11, 2021 2 hours ago, Stubby Pecker said: Ditto. I was quite the tear away fast bowler Fantasist bollocks. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Beast Posted May 11, 2021 Report Share Posted May 11, 2021 10 hours ago, Goober said: That's just your eyesight going. I hope it doesn't deteriorate any further because christ only knows where that might end. The old mince pies are certainly not as good as they used to be. I only realised when people noted that I was gurning away like a spastic when reading small print. A simple £10 pair of lenses is all that is required. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Cunt Posted May 11, 2021 Report Share Posted May 11, 2021 13 minutes ago, The Beast said: The old mince pies are certainly not as good as they used to be. I only realised when people noted that I was gurning away like a spastic when reading small print. A simple £10 pair of lenses is all that is required. I have no idea how many pairs I have, but it must be over ten. Still can’t find one, when in a hurry. The other day, I was sporting two on top of my head, one blue and one black, only noticed them in the car. A colour-blind fucking spider. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest judgetwi Posted May 12, 2021 Report Share Posted May 12, 2021 I have no idea what goes on in old people’s homes but I always have this vision of old dears rocking back and forth to the Beverley Sisters. George “when i’m cleaning windows” Formby, Pearl Carr and Teddy Johnson and , possibly, racy stuff like Lonnie Doneghan. But that can’t be right can it? Time has moved on so surely it must be The Beatles, the Stones, the Who, the Beach Boys and the Monkees? Fuck me, even “Anarchy in the U.K.” is forty five years old!!! Now I feel old. Fuck off cunts! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted May 12, 2021 Report Share Posted May 12, 2021 14 hours ago, judgetwi said: I have no idea what goes on in old people’s homes but I always have this vision of old dears rocking back and forth to the Beverley Sisters. George “when i’m cleaning windows” Formby, Pearl Carr and Teddy Johnson and , possibly, racy stuff like Lonnie Doneghan. But that can’t be right can it? Time has moved on so surely it must be The Beatles, the Stones, the Who, the Beach Boys and the Monkees? Fuck me, even “Anarchy in the U.K.” is forty five years old!!! Now I feel old. Fuck off cunts! I can imagine in a few years time, crumblies belting out 'Firestarter' on the coach to Eastbourne. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted May 12, 2021 Report Share Posted May 12, 2021 On 11/05/2021 at 09:06, Stubby Pecker said: It'll be the grannies Move to Essex and you can pick up a granny in her early 40s no problem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penny Farthing Posted May 12, 2021 Report Share Posted May 12, 2021 16 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: Move to Essex and you can pick up a granny in her early 40s no problem. Late 20s/Early 30s surely? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddie Posted May 12, 2021 Report Share Posted May 12, 2021 21 hours ago, ProfB said: I am full of beans 😊 Yes but who’s? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted May 12, 2021 Report Share Posted May 12, 2021 2 hours ago, Dawn Chorus said: Late 20s/Early 30s surely? Maybe. And don't call me Surely. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penny Farthing Posted May 12, 2021 Report Share Posted May 12, 2021 24 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: Maybe. And don't call me Surely. A lot of guys like their grannie smiths green and fresh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted May 12, 2021 Report Share Posted May 12, 2021 1 minute ago, Dawn Chorus said: A lot of guys like their grannie smiths green and fresh. Old an' delicious Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penny Farthing Posted May 12, 2021 Report Share Posted May 12, 2021 18 hours ago, judgetwi said: I have no idea what goes on in old people’s homes but I always have this vision of old dears rocking back and forth to the Beverley Sisters. George “when i’m cleaning windows” Formby, Pearl Carr and Teddy Johnson and , possibly, racy stuff like Lonnie Doneghan. But that can’t be right can it? Time has moved on so surely it must be The Beatles, the Stones, the Who, the Beach Boys and the Monkees? Fuck me, even “Anarchy in the U.K.” is forty five years old!!! Now I feel old. Fuck off cunts! I prefer Glenn Miller. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted May 12, 2021 Report Share Posted May 12, 2021 4 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said: Move to Essex and you can pick up a granny in her early 40s no problem. Half a bottle of asda own brand Chardonnay and you’d be anyone’s. I’d advise the unlucky suitor to arm themselves with a good quality pair of garden shears and make sure he’s pissed out of his skull before going in 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted May 12, 2021 Report Share Posted May 12, 2021 On 10/05/2021 at 10:44, Eric Cuntman said: . People were happier during the blitz. It was a fucking blast. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted May 12, 2021 Report Share Posted May 12, 2021 On 10/05/2021 at 12:23, Last Cunt Standing said: And another thing...carrots don’t taste like carrots anymore, you can’t buy decent slacks like you used to, and it’s all coffee shops and charity shops on the high street nowadays, no decent iron monger to get a tuppeny bag of nails...I was saying to our Tony only yesterday it’s a full twenty years since Hutchinsons closed down, they used to sell toffee under the counter to regulars in the war...I remember coming off the 24 bus...or was it the 25....went down Byford Street past the Methodist church...it’s a Muslim carpet shop now....magic carpet shop our Tony calls it..hahahah..... I miss this stream of consciousness bollocks some of the old dears would keep going with. Occasionally I would set them up on the exam couch, pop behind the curtain for my stethoscope and sit and have a coffee with the crossword while they waffle on. I think 20 minutes was my record. Good evening Dr. Shipman. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted May 12, 2021 Report Share Posted May 12, 2021 1 hour ago, Stubby Pecker said: Half a bottle of asda own brand Chardonnay and you’d be anyone’s. I’d advise the unlucky suitor to arm themselves with a good quality pair of garden shears and make sure he’s pissed out of his skull before going in Er sorry, is that supposed to be an insult at me? Top Tip: if you're gonna insult someone make sure the victim is 100% certain and don't have to ask. It just makes it easy for everyone. You're welcome Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Last Cunt Standing Posted May 12, 2021 Report Share Posted May 12, 2021 1 hour ago, King Billy said: Good evening Dr. Shipman. 9 down : Free iffy folk club (4,3,5) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Last Cunt Standing Posted May 12, 2021 Report Share Posted May 12, 2021 21 hours ago, judgetwi said: I have no idea what goes on in old people’s homes but I always have this vision of old dears rocking back and forth to the Beverley Sisters. George “when i’m cleaning windows” Formby. How clean are your windows, Judy? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest judgetwi Posted May 12, 2021 Report Share Posted May 12, 2021 6 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said: How clean are your windows, Judy? Pretty good Bertie. How’s your little stick of Blackpool rock? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted May 12, 2021 Report Share Posted May 12, 2021 16 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said: 9 down : Free iffy folk club (4,3,5) Drby And Jowne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Last Cunt Standing Posted May 12, 2021 Report Share Posted May 12, 2021 31 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: Drby And Jowne Nope. It’s hardly the Enigma code, Eric. I imagine it’s a race to crack it between our resident Scottish Autist and MC Hairysnatch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted May 12, 2021 Report Share Posted May 12, 2021 13 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said: Nope. It’s hardly the Enigma code, Eric. I imagine it’s a race to crack it between our resident Scottish Autist and MC Hairysnatch. Well I know nothing about folk shite, so please PM me the answer before I get obsessed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted May 12, 2021 Report Share Posted May 12, 2021 45 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said: Nope. It’s hardly the Enigma code, Eric. I imagine it’s a race to crack it between our resident Scottish Autist and MC Hairysnatch. Fuck off Billy. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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