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Football


Decimus

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On 04/07/2021 at 07:38, Decimus said:

You know as much about football as my mother, Frank.

I can imagine you now, down 'The Dog and Duck' at your usual table for one, trying to talk tactics with the poor eye-rolling cunt forced to take your drink orders.

 "I'll have a pint of your most pretentious craft beer mate, with an umbrella and straw. Also, when is Bobby Robson gonna bring on Shearer, it ain't fucking rocket science is it?".

You ridiculous old cunt.

 

 

 

What did I say? Not a hope in hell against the Danes. Idiot.

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38 minutes ago, cuntspotter said:

I wish you well lads…I’m getting pissed on Albanian raki. It tastes like shite but it’ll clear the pipes out.

Last time I drank this I had a 3 hour bath wearing a swimming cap - I got mine from Morries. (the booze not cap)

It tends to make you review things from alternative angles.

If you drink it before going on eBay, you'll wake up next day & learn you've ordered leopard skin patterned car seat covers 'overnight'- take it from one who knows.

😬 

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The headline this morning on the beeb website....England men reach first major final for 56 years, could someone please inform me why the fuck the word 'men' was used ? . Fucking woke,lefie,shit scared cunts, I fucking hate them more and more and I'm sending their rip off license fee back.

 

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4 hours ago, Neil said:

The headline this morning on the beeb website....England men reach first major final for 56 years, could someone please inform me why the fuck the word 'men' was used ? . Fucking woke,lefie,shit scared cunts, I fucking hate them more and more and I'm sending their rip off license fee back.

 

I see ITV have gone all Beeb with a gaggle of vulva chewers waxing lyrical about a game that they have precisely zero knowledge of. Our mate, Emma Hayes was bouncing up and down at the end, rubbing her cock against Ian Wright’s leg…he should have thrown the head on the clueless skanky sausage-dodging rip. I want her dead.

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35 minutes ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

I see ITV have gone all Beeb with a gaggle of vulva chewers waxing lyrical about a game that they have precisely zero knowledge of. Our mate, Emma Hayes was bouncing up and down at the end, rubbing her cock against Ian Wright’s leg…he should have thrown the head on the clueless skanky sausage-dodging rip. I want her dead.

Yep,what he said.

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55 minutes ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

I see ITV have gone all Beeb with a gaggle of vulva chewers waxing lyrical about a game that they have precisely zero knowledge of. Our mate, Emma Hayes was bouncing up and down at the end, rubbing her cock against Ian Wright’s leg…he should have thrown the head on the clueless skanky sausage-dodging rip. I want her dead.

Never mind all that  - (What) Sam Matterface (hey, godda no respect, hey!) delivered the biggest pile of shite since the ringmaster spiked Dumbo with Exlax.

One minute he was all Henry V and Shakespearian, the next it was telling us all how we all felt, the next it was an aircraft journey with turbulence we were all on.

ITV were a bloody shambles last night.

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5 hours ago, Neil said:

The headline this morning on the beeb website....England men reach first major final for 56 years, could someone please inform me why the fuck the word 'men' was used ? . Fucking woke,lefie,shit scared cunts, I fucking hate them more and more and I'm sending their rip off license fee back.

 

Neil, you miserable old cunt. Whilst I entirely agree that the current crop of wankers are effeminate, sanitised, boring fucking cunts, I can live with it when they've achieved more than any "real men" did during half a century of absolute shit.

I don't care if they want to take a knee or a cock up their arse, the boys have done fucking good and I'm 100 percent behind them. 

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40 minutes ago, Decimus said:

Neil, you miserable old cunt. Whilst I entirely agree that the current crop of wankers are effeminate, sanitised, boring fucking cunts, I can live with it when they've achieved more than any "real men" did during half a century of absolute shit.

I don't care if they want to take a knee or a cock up their arse, the boys have done fucking good and I'm 100 percent behind them. 

I'm Italian for the next 4 days, fucking English cunts

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1 hour ago, Jiggerycock said:

Never mind all that  - (What) Sam Matterface (hey, godda no respect, hey!) delivered the biggest pile of shite since the ringmaster spiked Dumbo with Exlax.

One minute he was all Henry V and Shakespearian, the next it was telling us all how we all felt, the next it was an aircraft journey with turbulence we were all on.

ITV were a bloody shambles last night.

I muted the sound in the 2nd half and had the radio commentary on. After a couple of minutes I realised the radio's about 30 seconds behind. So just watched with no sound. 

Richie Benaud once said about commentators talking bollocks; "If you have nothing worth while to say, don't say anything". Advice that cunt last night needs to take heed of. 

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2 hours ago, Cuntybaws said:

Erm...

If it means they'll win, I'll back-scuttle the whole fucking lot of them.

Speaking of which, you just know the victory will be soured for years by every Scotsman alive who will inevitably add the caveat of "yeah, but you didn't beat us, so really we're the champions". 

19fucking67 all over again.

https://www.11v11.com/matches/england-v-scotland-15-april-1967-229786/

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9 minutes ago, Decimus said:

If it means they'll win, I'll back-scuttle the whole fucking lot of them.

Speaking of which, you just know the victory will be soured for years by every Scotsman alive who will inevitably add the caveat of "yeah, but you didn't beat us, so really we're the champions". 

19fucking67 all over again.

https://www.11v11.com/matches/england-v-scotland-15-april-1967-229786/

Well, that's if they can communicate through the oceans of discarded German, Ukrainian, Danish and Italian shirts / flags they've purchased

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1 hour ago, Jiggerycock said:

Well, that's if they can communicate through the oceans of discarded German, Ukrainian, Danish and Italian shirts / flags they've purchased

Not me - I lived in England long enough to have such churlishness driven out of me. Besides, I'm far too mean to fritter away my cash on such things.

As any true football fan will will attest, the only thing worse than seeing your own team lose is watching your local rivals win. Not something that you have to worry about often, though, when your local rivals are useless fucking Scotland.

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58 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

Not me - I lived in England long enough to have such churlishness driven out of me. Besides, I'm far too mean to fritter away my cash on such things.

As any true football fan will will attest, the only thing worse than seeing your own team lose is watching your local rivals win. Not something that you have to worry about often, though, when your local rivals are useless fucking Scotland.

I'll say this for the Scots, if they hated every other footballing nation with the same amount of fervour that they solely reserve for England, they'd have probably won something by now.

It amazes me that hatred alone led to them drawing with one of the top five teams in the world. If only a few hundred Kazakhstanis had been at Culloden, they may have avoided that fucking 3-0 drubbing a few years ago.

 

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