England Cricket Cuntbreeds

[Dyslexic cnut]

1 hour ago, Decimus said:

https://ibb.co/kBX8VPv

Any joy today in the reservoir?

[Decimus]

20 minutes ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

Any joy today in the reservoir?

Nothing substantial yet, but the filth have managed to dredge up a few interesting clues.

[Cuntybaws]

On 22/05/2023 at 11:11, Eric Cuntman said:

One day you may be able to look at all ten Rorschach cards and see at least one butterfly.

Beautiful clouds. Pretty butterfly. Some nice flowers. 

On 22/05/2023 at 11:37, Last Cunt Standing said:

I much prefer the Ishihara plates

Ironically, white males are almost 50 times more colourblind than black females, although you wouldn’t guess that looking at fucking Twitter. 

[camberwell gypsy]

6 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

Beautiful clouds. Pretty butterfly. Some nice flowers. 

Ironically, white males are almost 50 times more colourblind than black females, although you wouldn’t guess that looking at fucking Twitter. 

I was recently told by my Dr I was colourblind. That came right out of the green. 

Here all week. 

[Wolfie]

10 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

I was recently told by my Dr I was colourblind. That came right out of the green. 

Here all week. 

Shame.

[Ape™️]

On 22/05/2023 at 14:13, Frank said:

I’ve never underestimated your intelligence. Perhaps not quite an academic, but you’re certainly on par with the Eddies and Scottys of the world. I’m a fan, for sure. 

Do you consider yourself an academic? It’s clear that you’re not, but I’m interested to know how you perceive yourself. Fucking idiot.

[Eric Cuntman]

5 minutes ago, Ape™️ said:

Do you consider yourself an academic? It’s clear that you’re not, but I’m interested to know how you perceive yourself. Fucking idiot.

He was being unkind to me. He said I was as clever as Eddie. I love Eddie, but he is quite black and therefore not properly clever.

[King Billy]

25 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I love Eddie, but he is quite black and therefore not properly clever.

That’s not fair Eric. Blacks invented slavery, famine and cannibalism (although the last two cancel each other out) so slavery and loads of other clever things probably.

[King Billy]

39 minutes ago, Ape™️ said:

Do you consider yourself an academic? It’s clear that you’re not, but I’m interested to know how you perceive yourself. Fucking idiot.

Frank is a spackademic.

[Eric Cuntman]

45 minutes ago, Ape™️ said:

Do you consider yourself an academic? It’s clear that you’re not, but I’m interested to know how you perceive yourself. Fucking idiot.

I’ve finally broken the virginity of the new Makita. It’s been up on a roof all day getting dragged around coarse faced felt. I used it once before to make a shelving unit indoors… but that was like a gentle fingering. It was still a pristine virgin that I was reluctant to violate. 
 And now, it’s still fit as fuck, but it’s in the pub wearing a leather miniskirt and no nickers.

I know you will understand this.

[King Billy]

7 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I’ve finally broken the virginity of the new Makita.

Her family won’t take her back in Ukraine after the war Eric. I’ll take her off your hands though. We’re a bit short staffed at the brothel now.

[Dyslexic cnut]

1 hour ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I’ve finally broken the virginity of the new Makita. It’s been up on a roof all day getting dragged around coarse faced felt. I used it once before to make a shelving unit indoors… but that was like a gentle fingering. It was still a pristine virgin that I was reluctant to violate. 
 And now, it’s still fit as fuck, but it’s in the pub wearing a leather miniskirt and no nickers.

I know you will understand this.

FW

[Frank]

17 hours ago, Decimus said:

https://ibb.co/kBX8VPv

A wine glass with mind-your-measure lines, twenty Mayfair and a TCL pensioner’s telephone. The life of Riley. 

[Decimus]

10 minutes ago, Frank said:

A wine glass with mind-your-measure lines, twenty Mayfair and a TCL pensioner’s telephone. The life of Riley. 

I thought you'd like it. House white.

[Dyslexic cnut]

1 hour ago, Frank said:

A wine glass with mind-your-measure lines, twenty Mayfair and a TCL pensioner’s telephone. The life of Riley. 

@Frank. I don’t wish to suggest your retorts are predictable, but there are as-of-yet undiscovered tribes in the heart of the Peruvian jungle, who knew you were going to say that. Spit that hook out you gullible cunt.

[Dyslexic cnut]

1 hour ago, Decimus said:

I thought you'd like it. House white.

Did you go for large or medium there as you’re not quite down to the small measure. How long have Mayfair been including a free picture of Punkers’ bullethole on their packets?

[Decimus]

47 minutes ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

@Frank. I don’t wish to suggest your retorts are predictable, but there are as-of-yet undiscovered tribes in the heart of the Peruvian jungle, who knew you were going to say that. Spit that hook out you gullible cunt.

The stupid wanker was reeled in hook, line and sinker. You'd have thought the giveaway would have been the fact that the pack of Mayfair was prominently placed up against the glass.

How long do you reckon he spent in his editing suite desperately trying to get a glimpse of my reflection?

The creepy old bastard.

[Stubby Pecker]

17 hours ago, Decimus said:

Nothing substantial yet, but the filth have managed to dredge up a few interesting clues.

is it;

1) Franks wig that detached itself from his liver spotted bonce during an all man skinny dipping season?

2) Part of Mings great hairy biff floating to the surface after a long needed disposal attempt

3) One of Frank holiday snaps from the Algarve region of Portugal circa 2007?

[Stubby Pecker]

On 16/05/2023 at 15:56, Last Cunt Standing said:

In yet more proof that the Arseholes are in charge of bloody everything these days, the latest squad sheet issued by those idiots at the Exceptionally Cuntish Brigade is truly a sight to behold. We first have the news that Ben Foakes, the best keeper in England and possibly number one gloveman in the world the past 18 months, has been dropped not just from the team but the entire squad. Zak Crawley, who as early contributors note can barely find the crease much less the boundary, is assured of his place for another summer, in no way the result of taking Key’s old locker at Kent and whose father is Fatboy’s regular golf chum.

Taking the gloves is the returning Jonny Bairstow, whose batting career has flourished since he gave up the dual role of wicketkeeper batsman, after all who wouldn’t want the YJB of 2017 rather than 2022? Archer is out with his elbow just for a change, but hope springs eternal that he might rise like Lazarus come the winter, when we all know he needs a metaphorical bolt through the forehead. Jimmy, rather than being preserved in aspic, gets the chance to pull his groin properly just in time for the Ashes by slamming down some seaming fizzers against the fucking Micks (no offence, @PANZER MURPHY). Leach, still dining out on his 2019 forward defensive, gets another go to see if he can spin the ball more than about four-fifths of a degree, and the less said about Dan fucking Lawrence the better. 

Rob Key wants the fucking blunt end of a stump forced roughly up his urethra for coming up with this shit, the drawling laconic Cunt. In entirely unrelated events I’ve had to put with Nathan Lyon all over my telly tonight saying the Aussies can win 5-0 and that these latest changes show England’s  selection policy is “uncertain”. I nearly choked on my Tim Tam, the cheeky Cunt. 

@Stubby Pecker, what say you?

Well summed up.

Foakes must be fucking fuming but I can see why they've left him out. If Crawleys dropped, like anyone with a basic understanding of cricket would suggest happens, then one of Pope, Root, Brook, YJB or Stokes will have to open, and I can't see any of them queuing up for this one. I can honestly see Crawley making a huge score against the pop gun paddy attack thus cementing his place in the side for the whole ashes where he'll average about 12.3. There's a possibility Stokes will open as he's got a solid technique and it might stop him batting like a total cunt, trying to smack everything for 6. I still think we'll win but its worrying many of our batsman haven't hit a red ball since or last outing against the kiwis yet it seems all the counties are happy to give the entire Aussie squad as much warm up games as they want.

[Stubby Pecker]

[camberwell gypsy]

2 hours ago, Stubby Pecker said:

Well summed up.

Foakes must be fucking fuming but I can see why they've left him out. If Crawleys dropped, like anyone with a basic understanding of cricket would suggest happens, then one of Pope, Root, Brook, YJB or Stokes will have to open, and I can't see any of them queuing up for this one. I can honestly see Crawley making a huge score against the pop gun paddy attack thus cementing his place in the side for the whole ashes where he'll average about 12.3. There's a possibility Stokes will open as he's got a solid technique and it might stop him batting like a total cunt, trying to smack everything for 6. I still think we'll win but its worrying many of our batsman haven't hit a red ball since or last outing against the kiwis yet it seems all the counties are happy to give the entire Aussie squad as much warm up games as they want.

The BBC cunts reported on Kent being fucked by Surrey the other  day,  gleefully mentioning Crawley's 39 second innings runs despite the fact Kunt were  skittled out for less than 150. I'd deffo rather have Stokes opening instead of Crawley. 

[Witheredscrote]

On 23/05/2023 at 17:41, Decimus said:

https://ibb.co/kBX8VPv

White wine!  What a fucking poof.

[Decimus]

25 minutes ago, Witheredscrote said:

White wine!  What a fucking poof.

I'm not a fan of lager, Withers, and not being Drew a treble vodka was out of the question on an early Tuesday afternoon.

I'm jealous of the fact that you live in France. Not because of the Godawful fucking food or BO stinking women. No, I'm jealous because a man can order a wine at a pub with his head held high, safe in the knowledge that the monsieur behind the bar isn't furtively clenching his arse cheeks in anticipation of a brutal sexual assualt.

Vivre le vin.

[Jake The Muss]

12 hours ago, Frank said:

A wine glass with mind-your-measure lines, twenty Mayfair and a TCL pensioner’s telephone. The life of Riley. 

Frank, i have a VG++ copy of Cliff Richards first 45 for sale, Indian pressing.

Very rare 45 Frank, yours for £150. 

[Last Cunt Standing]

5 hours ago, Decimus said:

I'm not a fan of lager, Withers, and not being Drew a treble vodka was out of the question on an early Tuesday afternoon.

I'm jealous of the fact that you live in France. Not because of the Godawful fucking food or BO stinking women. No, I'm jealous because a man can order a wine at a pub with his head held high, safe in the knowledge that the monsieur behind the bar isn't furtively clenching his arse cheeks in anticipation of a brutal sexual assualt.

Vivre le vin.

If you’re a fan of white wine, I should recommend a little holiday in the Margaret River region of Western Australia. It’s been known to convert even the most ardent fan of the Bintang singlet into a full blown wine snob. Direct flights from Heathrow every day…..