Frank Posted February 18, 2021 Report Share Posted February 18, 2021 5 minutes ago, Decimus said: 30 years is a long time to have to put up with Asian cuisine, Frank, I'm worried about your blood pressure. I'd wager that you've ingested three times the amount of salt that's contained in the dead sea, and that's before taking into account your unquenchable thirst for semen. I’m a straight man, decs. Straight down the line.. never even had a sniff at a dick. Grief is a funny thing. I miss her dearly but you know I honestly couldn’t bare to look at her ageing face in the last 10 years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted February 18, 2021 Report Share Posted February 18, 2021 1 hour ago, Frank said: I’m a straight man, decs. Straight down the line.. never even had a sniff at a dick. Grief is a funny thing. I miss her dearly but you know I honestly couldn’t bare to look at her ageing face in the last 10 years. That's the problem with slopes, Frank, once they get past 25 they all start to resemble Sokushinbutso. Treasure the memories you have of her when she still looked like a ten year old boy. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Posted February 18, 2021 Report Share Posted February 18, 2021 58 minutes ago, Decimus said: That's the problem with slopes, Frank, once they get past 25 they all start to resemble Sokushinbutso. Treasure the memories you have of her when she still looked like a ten year old boy. Reported! Mrs R I've never officially reported a fellow member, but this is way below the belt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted February 18, 2021 Report Share Posted February 18, 2021 5 minutes ago, Frank said: Reported! Mrs R I've never officially reported a fellow member, but this is way below the belt. A sex tourist is a sex tourist, no matter how well dressed he is. You're not telling me that your Phileas fucking Fogg act was created just so you could travel around the world eating street food? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted February 18, 2021 Report Share Posted February 18, 2021 2 hours ago, Frank said: I’m a straight man, decs. Straight down the line.. never even had a sniff at a dick. Grief is a funny thing. I miss her dearly but you know I honestly couldn’t bare to look at her ageing face in the last 10 years. Frank, did she start to look like one of the terracotta soldiers? You know, cracked, dry, and plastered in shit. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted February 18, 2021 Report Share Posted February 18, 2021 47 minutes ago, Frank said: Reported! Mrs R I've never officially reported a fellow member, but this is way below the belt. Frank, just remember the first day you met her, you were smitten. There she was, firing ping pong balls across the room, into a goldfish bowl. Such adroitness, such labia control. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dyslexic cnut Posted February 18, 2021 Author Report Share Posted February 18, 2021 3 hours ago, Frank said: I’m a straight man, decs. Straight down the line.. never even had a sniff at a dick. Grief is a funny thing. I miss her dearly but you know I honestly couldn’t bare to look at her ageing face in the last 10 years. My ex, a slope, went the same way, sadly. There’s no gradual and graceful diminishing with critter from that part of the world. Darwin called it the ‘Angel/Terrapin gene.’ Probably. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted February 18, 2021 Report Share Posted February 18, 2021 3 hours ago, Witheredscrote said: Frank, just remember the first day you met her, you were smitten. There she was, firing ping pong balls across the room, into a goldfish bowl. Such adroitness, such labia control. Obviously pleased to be of cervix. I mean service. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted February 18, 2021 Report Share Posted February 18, 2021 7 hours ago, Witheredscrote said: Call me thick, but when he says 'I'm not half the man I used to be', is he implying he was an even greater cunt? “Not even half the man”? Is frank saying he was once 11st? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted February 18, 2021 Report Share Posted February 18, 2021 14 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said: “Not even half the man”? Is frank saying he was once 11st? That's taking into account the weight of the leg calipers and NHS remedial boots. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted February 18, 2021 Report Share Posted February 18, 2021 1 minute ago, Eric Cuntman said: That's taking into account the weight of the leg calipers and NHS remedial boots. Don’t forget the gallon of exotic spunk up his arsehole, even more if a navy ship was in dock Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChildeHarold Posted February 18, 2021 Report Share Posted February 18, 2021 1 hour ago, Stubby Pecker said: Don’t forget the gallon of exotic spunk up his arsehole, even more if a navy ship was in dock A couple of Tesla electrodes in his brain and "He can walk! He can walk!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Roops Posted February 19, 2021 Report Share Posted February 19, 2021 19 hours ago, Decimus said: That's the problem with slopes, Frank, once they get past 25 they all start to resemble Sokushinbutso. Treasure the memories you have of her when she still looked like a ten year old boy. I think it best punters drop references to Thai food vloggers, sex tourism, the Glitter Band et al, otherwise protracted periods of cooler time will result. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuntspotter Posted February 19, 2021 Report Share Posted February 19, 2021 I own a guitar that once belonged to Gerry Shephard.... look him up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted February 19, 2021 Report Share Posted February 19, 2021 13 minutes ago, cuntspotter said: I own a guitar that once belonged to Gerry Shephard.... look him up. I had to look him up. I'd have been more impressed if you told me that you own a petrol mower that once belonged to your neighbour Kevin. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted February 19, 2021 Report Share Posted February 19, 2021 1 hour ago, cuntspotter said: I own a guitar that once belonged to Gerry Shephard.... look him up. Fucking hell. A guitar playing Alsatian? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted February 20, 2021 Report Share Posted February 20, 2021 1 hour ago, King Billy said: Fucking hell. A guitar playing Alsatian? Most dogs can only play the Trombonio. (see @Weary&Disgusted. I can do this shit too.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuntspotter Posted February 20, 2021 Report Share Posted February 20, 2021 10 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said: I had to look him up. I'd have been more impressed if you told me that you own a petrol mower that once belonged to your neighbour Kevin. Philistine! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hammer of Cunts Posted February 20, 2021 Report Share Posted February 20, 2021 7 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said: Most dogs can only play the Trombonio. (see @Weary&Disgusted. I can do this shit too.) They're a bit limited, they can only do doggy-style. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penny Farthing Posted February 20, 2021 Report Share Posted February 20, 2021 9 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said: Most dogs can only play the Trombonio. (see @Weary&Disgusted. I can do this shit too.) They can all play the dog whistle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Weary&Disgusted Posted February 20, 2021 Report Share Posted February 20, 2021 10 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said: Most dogs can only play the Trombonio. (see @Weary&Disgusted. I can do this shit too.) I tried to train my dog Fenris to play the piano (the Goldberg Variations), but his timing was terrible. As an unexpected bonus, the noise from the piano tended to scare burglars away. So I guess I can say that Fenris's Bach is worse than his bite. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Last Cunt Standing Posted February 20, 2021 Report Share Posted February 20, 2021 On 19/02/2021 at 00:10, Decimus said: A sex tourist is a sex tourist, no matter how well dressed he is. You're not telling me that your Phileas fucking Fogg act was created just so you could travel around the world eating street food? My neighbour Rack, so named as he has a new Thai every few months, informs me that the old fleshpots are not what they used to be. Now full of aggressive Russians and Chinese, the highlights of Soi 6 are now likely to include a multinational brawl after too much Vodka and betting on the EPL. The girls are ever more sophisticated in ways to extract Baht from the pasty Farang, and when they’ve finished robbing you blind for a lethargic handjob, it’s the high-dive act off the thirtieth floor for you, just as soon as she’s got your fingerprints for the dodgy suicide note. You’re missing nothing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted February 20, 2021 Report Share Posted February 20, 2021 On 18/02/2021 at 16:49, Witheredscrote said: Frank, did she start to look like one of the terracotta soldiers? You know, cracked, dry, and plastered in shit. You're talking about Yoko Ono there. She looked like that in her 30s Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted February 20, 2021 Report Share Posted February 20, 2021 6 hours ago, Weary&Disgusted said: I tried to train my dog Fenris to play the piano (the Goldberg Variations), but his timing was terrible. As an unexpected bonus, the noise from the piano tended to scare burglars away. So I guess I can say that Fenris's Bach is worse than his bite. Turumtssss! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted February 20, 2021 Report Share Posted February 20, 2021 My dogs got no nose Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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