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5 minutes ago, Decimus said:

30 years is a long time to have to put up with Asian cuisine, Frank, I'm worried about your blood pressure. I'd wager that you've ingested three times the amount of salt that's contained in the dead sea, and that's before taking into account your unquenchable thirst for semen.

 

I’m a straight man, decs. Straight down the line.. never even had a sniff at a dick. Grief is a funny thing. I miss her dearly but you know I honestly couldn’t bare to look at her ageing face in the last 10 years. 

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1 hour ago, Frank said:

I’m a straight man, decs. Straight down the line.. never even had a sniff at a dick. Grief is a funny thing. I miss her dearly but you know I honestly couldn’t bare to look at her ageing face in the last 10 years. 

That's the problem with slopes, Frank, once they get past 25 they all start to resemble Sokushinbutso. Treasure the memories you have of her when she still looked like a ten year old boy.

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58 minutes ago, Decimus said:

That's the problem with slopes, Frank, once they get past 25 they all start to resemble Sokushinbutso. Treasure the memories you have of her when she still looked like a ten year old boy.

Reported! Mrs R I've never officially reported a fellow member, but this is way below the belt. 

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5 minutes ago, Frank said:

Reported! Mrs R I've never officially reported a fellow member, but this is way below the belt. 

A sex tourist is a sex tourist, no matter how well dressed he is. You're not telling me that your Phileas fucking Fogg act was created just so you could travel around the world eating street food?

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2 hours ago, Frank said:

I’m a straight man, decs. Straight down the line.. never even had a sniff at a dick. Grief is a funny thing. I miss her dearly but you know I honestly couldn’t bare to look at her ageing face in the last 10 years. 

Frank, did she start to look like one of the terracotta soldiers? You know, cracked, dry, and plastered in shit.

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47 minutes ago, Frank said:

Reported! Mrs R I've never officially reported a fellow member, but this is way below the belt. 

Frank, just remember the first day you met her, you were smitten. There she was, firing ping pong balls across the room, into a goldfish bowl.  Such adroitness, such labia control.

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3 hours ago, Frank said:

I’m a straight man, decs. Straight down the line.. never even had a sniff at a dick. Grief is a funny thing. I miss her dearly but you know I honestly couldn’t bare to look at her ageing face in the last 10 years. 

My ex, a slope, went the same way, sadly. There’s no gradual and graceful diminishing with critter from that part of the world. Darwin called it the ‘Angel/Terrapin gene.’ Probably.

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3 hours ago, Witheredscrote said:

Frank, just remember the first day you met her, you were smitten. There she was, firing ping pong balls across the room, into a goldfish bowl.  Such adroitness, such labia control.

Obviously pleased to be of cervix. I mean service. 

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19 hours ago, Decimus said:

That's the problem with slopes, Frank, once they get past 25 they all start to resemble Sokushinbutso. Treasure the memories you have of her when she still looked like a ten year old boy.

I think it best punters drop references to Thai food vloggers, sex tourism, the Glitter Band et al, otherwise protracted periods of cooler time will result.

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13 minutes ago, cuntspotter said:

I own a guitar that once belonged to Gerry Shephard.... look him up.

I had to look him up. I'd have been more impressed if you told me that you own a petrol mower that once belonged to your neighbour Kevin.

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10 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Most dogs can only play the Trombonio.

(see @Weary&Disgusted. I can do this shit too.)

I tried to train my dog Fenris to play the piano (the Goldberg Variations), but his timing was terrible.  

As an unexpected bonus, the noise from the piano tended to scare burglars away.  

So I guess I can say that Fenris's Bach is worse than his bite.  

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On 19/02/2021 at 00:10, Decimus said:

A sex tourist is a sex tourist, no matter how well dressed he is. You're not telling me that your Phileas fucking Fogg act was created just so you could travel around the world eating street food?

My neighbour Rack, so named as he has a new Thai every few months, informs me that the old fleshpots are not what they used to be. Now full of aggressive Russians and Chinese, the highlights of Soi 6 are now likely to include a multinational brawl after too much Vodka and betting on the EPL. The girls are ever more sophisticated in ways to extract Baht from the pasty Farang, and when they’ve finished robbing you blind for a lethargic handjob, it’s the high-dive act off the thirtieth floor for you, just as soon as she’s got your fingerprints for the dodgy suicide note. You’re missing nothing. 

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6 hours ago, Weary&Disgusted said:

I tried to train my dog Fenris to play the piano (the Goldberg Variations), but his timing was terrible.  

As an unexpected bonus, the noise from the piano tended to scare burglars away.  

So I guess I can say that Fenris's Bach is worse than his bite.  

Turumtssss!

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