Tuneless whistling cunts

[southerncunt]

I don’t know why cunts like to do this. I was working away today doing my own thing, when this other subcontractor turned up to work on a car and almost immediately started whistling away with absolutely no regard for tune, timing or volume. Pick a song for fucks sake. Not this bloke. Chirped away for a good half hour and didn’t hit the same note twice. 
 

I realise this is very much a minor issue, but it pissed down most of today and I was shitty to start with. 
 

Lol, fuck off, et al.

[Eric Cuntman]

6 minutes ago, southerncunt said:

I don’t know why cunts like to do this. I was working away today doing my own thing, when this other subcontractor turned up to work on a car and almost immediately started whistling away with absolutely no regard for tune, timing or volume. Pick a song for fucks sake. Not this bloke. Chirped away for a good half hour and didn’t hit the same note twice. 
 

I realise this is very much a minor issue, but it pissed down most of today and I was shitty to start with. 
 

Lol, fuck off, et al.

Fucking uncanny. I have always noticed that any group of workmen, particularly in domestic situations are always comprised of a 'whistler' and a gobshite who has to speak very loudly in the hope that everyone notices his 'kerrrraaaazy' personality. That one is usually fat with glasses.

[Dyslexic cnut]

Roops is so ugly not even a kettle would whistle at her.

[camberwell gypsy]

30 minutes ago, southerncunt said:

I don’t know why cunts like to do this. I was working away today doing my own thing, when this other subcontractor turned up to work on a car and almost immediately started whistling away with absolutely no regard for tune, timing or volume. Pick a song for fucks sake. Not this bloke. Chirped away for a good half hour and didn’t hit the same note twice. 
 

I realise this is very much a minor issue, but it pissed down most of today and I was shitty to start with. 
 

Lol, fuck off, et al.

I misread the "hit the same note twice" sentence. I thought it said "I hit the cunt twice with a shovel and have his body stored in my freezer with the frozen shrimps".  Honestly, must go to specsavers 

[Eddie]

22 minutes ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

Roops is so ugly not even a kettle would whistle at her.

Dc believe me when I tell you she is hot, and a bit dirty. 

[Eric Cuntman]

2 minutes ago, Eddie said:

Dc believe me when I tell you she is hot, and a bit dirty. 

Coal dust?

[nocti]

A galling idiosyncracy that is inexplicably reserved for the terminally dull. The cunt would probably play a decent tune if you popped your fingers over the holes made from where he had his lobotomy. 

Call him a cunt and kick his shins in.

[Eddie]

7 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Coal dust?

No coal dust in her Alan’s, it’s lovely down there, I think she had it refurbished with a spaniels ear. 

[Hammer of Cunts]

It's better than fucking Radio 1.

[camberwell gypsy]

1 hour ago, southerncunt said:

I don’t know why cunts like to do this. I was working away today doing my own thing, when this other subcontractor turned up to work on a car and almost immediately started whistling away with absolutely no regard for tune, timing or volume. Pick a song for fucks sake. Not this bloke. Chirped away for a good half hour and didn’t hit the same note twice. 
 

I realise this is very much a minor issue, but it pissed down most of today and I was shitty to start with. 
 

Lol, fuck off, et al.

Are things back to normal down there? Can you go to watch the footie now?

[Eric Cuntman]

53 minutes ago, Eddie said:

No coal dust in her Alan’s, it’s lovely down there, I think she had it refurbished with a spaniels ear. 

That's beautiful Ed. You're a very lucky man.

[Goober]

57 minutes ago, Eddie said:

No coal dust in her Alan’s, it’s lovely down there, I think she had it refurbished with a spaniels ear. 

Are you sure it wasn't a whole chinchilla, or maybe even two? 

[Witheredscrote]

4 hours ago, Eddie said:

Dc believe me when I tell you she is hot, and a bit dirty. 

So is my Aga, and I wouldn't fuck that either.

[Dyslexic cnut]

9 minutes ago, Witheredscrote said:

So is my Aga, and I wouldn't fuck that either.

Lacanche or La Cornue over there Withers, surely?

[Stubby Pecker]

6 hours ago, Eddie said:

No coal dust in her Alan’s, it’s lovely down there, I think she had it refurbished with a spaniels ear. 

More like a slobbering bloodhound that had spent all day eating tripe and fish heads

[King Billy]

On 13/05/2021 at 14:30, Eddie said:

No coal dust in her Alan’s, it’s lovely down there, I think she had it refurbished with a spaniels ear. 

A donkeys arse more like Ed. 🤮

[Old Chap Raasclaat]

Are you in the Orange Order KB?

[King Billy]

7 minutes ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said:

Are you in the Orange Order KB?

Salvation Army (special forces). Worked my way up the ranks from the triangle to the tambourine. That’s all I’m allowed to say. I’m probably in trouble already. Don’t know what you’re talking about mate.

[Old Chap Raasclaat]

Fraternal greetings.

[camberwell gypsy]

1 hour ago, King Billy said:

Salvation Army (special forces). Worked my way up the ranks from the triangle to the tambourine. That’s all I’m allowed to say. I’m probably in trouble already. Don’t know what you’re talking about mate.

A friend of mine tangled with you blokes and came a cropper. Took 4 hours of surgery to extract that flute.

[Dyslexic cnut]

4 hours ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said:

Are you in the Orange Order KB?

Fuck off Raaso. I can PM you Bill’s membership card for the Knights of St.Columba...have you both been taught to be cautious?

[Last Cunt Standing]

On 13/05/2021 at 20:49, Eric Cuntman said:

Fucking uncanny. I have always noticed that any group of workmen, particularly in domestic situations are always comprised of a 'whistler' and a gobshite who has to speak very loudly in the hope that everyone notices his 'kerrrraaaazy' personality. That one is usually fat with glasses.

In 40 years, and across five countries, I’ve never met a tradie who didn’t park badly, read a tabloid, loudly vocalise his ignorant worldview to no one in particular, find infinite comedy in belching and farting, and who ate takeaway crap like a pig. I often wonder what would happen if an apprentice turned up on day one clutching The Telegraph and ate a Quinoa salad at lunchtime; presumably they’d be beaten to death with a scaffolding pole. Even here in Australia, where tradies can earn comparative fortunes, donning hi-vis seems to provoke a herd mentality. Even cabbies had Fred Housego. 

[Jiggerycock]

11 hours ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

In 40 years, and across five countries, I’ve never met a tradie who didn’t park badly, read a tabloid, loudly vocalise his ignorant worldview to no one in particular, find infinite comedy in belching and farting, and who ate takeaway crap like a pig. I often wonder what would happen if an apprentice turned up on day one clutching The Telegraph and ate a Quinoa salad at lunchtime; presumably they’d be beaten to death with a scaffolding pole. Even here in Australia, where tradies can earn comparative fortunes, donning hi-vis seems to provoke a herd mentality. Even cabbies had Fred Housego. 

With Oxbridge grads unable to get a job in Tesco's nowadays, I reckon it's only a matter of months before a sparkie and his pals turn up clutching copies of Jude The Obscure, whistling a note perfect version of 'The Internationale' whilst discussing Germen Flottenpolitik in the late 19th Century.

Cunts'll down tools in an instant if they don't get Lapsang Souchang and all the smashed avocado on focaccia they can stuff down their gobs.