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Attention all sheeple! Masks on and trousers down. Prepare your arseholes please.

King Billy

By King Billy
in The Corner

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Last Cunt Standing

Last Cunt Standing

Posted
Posted
45 minutes ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said:

Carry on as normal, it's all an overreaction...you have to play your part in helping the world's population achieve herd immunity. If you live in Australia surely that shite lager and over indulgence in BBQ protein will fend off the Covid proteins anyways, what is this phacking Mumsnet? You bellend.

Given I’m now on my third episode in a row, in the style of Jeopardy, “I’ll take Fuck Off You Useless Wanker for $500, please Alex”. 

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Old Chap Raasclaat

Old Chap Raasclaat

Posted
Posted
2 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

Given I’m now on my third episode in a row, in the style of Jeopardy, “I’ll take Fuck You for $500, please Alex”. 

What are you worrying about out there in Australia? You've got loads of space to wander and social distancing is and has always been the norm. You want to try living in overcrowded blighty you soppy cunt. 

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Trucking Funt

Trucking Funt

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Cuntybaws said:

If you haven't already seen it I can recommend "The Boys" on Amazon Prime Video. Even more use of the word "cunt" than this site on a Friday night.

I made the mistake of binge watching the second series with Mrs Funt a couple of weekends ago. She cackled like a fucking witch through the Homelander/Stormfront sex scene.

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camberwell gypsy

camberwell gypsy

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

Not yet started. Next month GP network starts delivery. Apparently other areas of the world are a priority, which looking at the news, seems bang on. 

I see the Aussies have offered to host The Lions this summer (your winter) if the Springboks tour gets scuppered by the kung flu.

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Trucking Funt

Trucking Funt

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

Dear good people of The Corner,

My bit of the world has just gone into five day lockdown after a security guard at a COVID hotel tested positive after seemingly visiting every off licence and halal butcher in south Perth. 

You guys have had much more experience of this lockdown thing than me, so I’m looking for tips, games to play with the wife, keeping a dog happy indoors, Netflix content to stream, interesting reads, and general help passing the hours until we can emerge. And @Eric Cuntman, can you confirm the kill distance for an Adler 12g straight-pull shotgun, just in case the hoardes make it up the drive?

Narcos seasons 1-3 and get another dog.

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Decimus

Decimus

Posted
Posted
5 hours ago, Frank said:

Fran Lebowitz.. Netflix. Nothing else worthwhile. 

Fran fucking Lebowitz. A pretentious cunt who has done nothing of note since the 1990s. One of those types beloved by Guardian readers despite having no discernible talent other than telling the same anecdotes at the same Godfuckingawful New York society dinners year after year.

I have no idea what it is she does these days, other than being seen on "the scene", drifting through life with all the tediousness of a useless dilettante who dines out on past glories.

I'm not in the least bit surprised that she resonates with you.

 

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Dyslexic cnut

Dyslexic cnut

Posted
Posted
5 hours ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

Dear good people of The Corner,

My bit of the world has just gone into five day lockdown after a security guard at a COVID hotel tested positive after seemingly visiting every off licence and halal butcher in south Perth. 

You guys have had much more experience of this lockdown thing than me, so I’m looking for tips, games to play with the wife, keeping a dog happy indoors, Netflix content to stream, interesting reads, and general help passing the hours until we can emerge. And @Eric Cuntman, can you confirm the kill distance for an Adler 12g straight-pull shotgun, just in case the hoardes make it up the drive?

Get over to Rottnest Island LCS, have a game of quokka soccer...great fun!

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Cuntybaws

Cuntybaws

Posted
Posted
5 hours ago, Roadkill said:

Great show. Especially the part where Homelander deafens an already blind superhero because he doesn't like the idea of the corporation in charge of his team making decisions for new members based on political correctness... after almost being caught drinking the breast milk of his former boss and mother figure who's head he melted with his laser vision.

I wonder how many people will think I'm taking the piss?

That wasn't even close to the most surreal part. Popclaw grinding herself to orgasm on the guy's head with such force that his head literally exploded would put you off eating pussy for a while.

Also, pretty much any scene featuring The Deep with dolphins or whales tended to end badly.

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Decimus

Decimus

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Neil said:

I'd say your 'watch history is as fucking dire as your 'up your own arse' record collection,pretentious? moi?

Fran Lebowitz has not put pen to paper since 1994, agreeing with her editor's assertion that she probably has too much reverence for the written word to potentially sully it with a shit book. It's not sheer fucking laziness if you're a writer who hasn't finished a job in nearly 27 years, it's brilliance according to pretentious fucking idiots like Frank.

On that note, @Frank I wish you would show a similar respect to the English language and cease inflicting your half-baked, middle-of-the-road, endlessly rehashed fucking shit on us. Take a break. Permanently.

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Frank

Frank

Posted
Posted
41 minutes ago, Decimus said:

Fran Lebowitz has not put pen to paper since 1994, agreeing with her editor's assertion that she probably has too much reverence for the written word to potentially sully it with a shit book. It's not sheer fucking laziness if you're a writer who hasn't finished a job in nearly 27 years, it's brilliance according to pretentious fucking idiots like Frank.

On that note, @Frank I wish you would show a similar respect to the English language and cease inflicting your half-baked, middle-of-the-road, endlessly rehashed fucking shit on us. Take a break. Permanently.

That’s really nasty. Do you mean that?

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Roadkill

Roadkill

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Cuntybaws said:

That wasn't even close to the most surreal part. Popclaw grinding herself to orgasm on the guy's head with such force that his head literally exploded would put you off eating pussy for a while.

Also, pretty much any scene featuring The Deep with dolphins or whales tended to end badly.

 

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Decimus

Decimus

Posted
Posted
10 minutes ago, Frank said:

That’s really nasty. Do you mean that?

I genuinely want you to be good again. If I didn't, I'd just ignore you like I do the majority of the also-ran, number makers on here.

I've seen a few flashes of the old magic this week, and it warmed my heart. But at the moment you're reminding me of my old nan. 90% of what you say is complete fucking drivel that you've repeated scores of times in one form or another, but every now and again the fog clears and you dish out an acerbic put down that I log and intend to plagiarise at a later date. 

What's the problem? It's either Alzheimer's, crippling substance abuse, a mid-life crisis, or maybe it's that I've got rose tinted glasses on and you have always been fucking shit.

Sort yourself out.

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Eric Cuntman

Eric Cuntman

Posted
Posted
14 hours ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

Dear good people of The Corner,

My bit of the world has just gone into five day lockdown after a security guard at a COVID hotel tested positive after seemingly visiting every off licence and halal butcher in south Perth. 

You guys have had much more experience of this lockdown thing than me, so I’m looking for tips, games to play with the wife, keeping a dog happy indoors, Netflix content to stream, interesting reads, and general help passing the hours until we can emerge. And @Eric Cuntman, can you confirm the kill distance for an Adler 12g straight-pull shotgun, just in case the hoardes make it up the drive?

25-30 yards. Add another 5 if the barrels are 25% choked.

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Goober

Goober

Posted
Posted
8 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

25-30 yards. Add another 5 if the barrels are 25% choked.

The cartridge will be a bigger factor than the gun. I reckon a face shot using full choke (if it's a multichoke) and some 50g magnum AAA shot cartridges and you'd get that to 40 yards. 

 

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Eddie

Eddie

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, Witheredscrote said:

I don't think he is capable. Maybe it's delusions of grandeur.  After all, look at that o.t.t pedal bin the cunt bought. Fucking laughable.

The avocado bathroom suite would blow your  mind, the toilet seat has a deep pile carpet glued on the lid, it’s not a over exaggeration to say the Barbican shag pad is groovy baby yer. 

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