Cunts Corner

The Voice UK

Who the hell gives a flying fuck about this shit?! It's just another fucking talent show full of cunts butchering more songs! I'm so bloody sick of it being on BBC One every fucking week! Even Louis Walsh says he hates this show.

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Ageing Wives..

It's so unfair but she'll have to go.

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Petrol of Coffee?

Stood patiently in the longest petrol paying queue while the fattest fuck ahead orders a skinny latte. The solo attendent/cashier/pump pushing/barista on duty, dolled up to her eyeballs, shuffles over to the coffee machine, does a little twist and goes through the motions. We stand patiently, tanks full on the forecourt, while the obese monstercunt considers a sprinkle of chocolate. Separate till for the fatties please, you spineless cocksucking penny pinching oily cunts.

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The backroom boys at Gillette

I have to say that I do not look like Robert Redford and I never have and never will be love’s young dream. But, to enhance my personal presentation I have shaved every day for most of my life. Remember when we could do a decent job of shaving with by dragging one blade with just two edges over our lumpen features? Yes, of course you do, and blades were quite cheap too. This, however, hasn’t been good enough for the lads down at Gillette. They have burned with an ardent desire to give me the privilege of shaving with at least 3 blades, in some cases five blades, lubricating strips and allsorts of attachments and devices to improve on my already adequate shaving performance. Of course, this all comes at a prices, oh yes indeedy. It now costs a bastard fortune for each replaceable cartridge. Moreover, they won't last more than 2 shaves before they work worse than a single-bladed disposable. Hear me now…the back room boys at Gillette are cunts.

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People holding hands when walking along the pavement.

You are young, beautiful and in love..Ok. But the problem is that you want the whole world to know it as you take up the whole fucking pavement by holding hands as you walk down the street. Imagine how perfectly cemented these feelings will be when some poor fucker steps into the road to allow you to walk by unimpeded and gets run down by a bus. But it won’t be, me will it? No, because today I stopped as you approached and you had to let go of each other to pass by. Surprisingly, the cocky young esquire tried to shoulder his way past to assert his dominance but for some inexplicable reason ended up on his arse. Deary me, what could have happened?. I freely admit that I am not an expert on eternal love but I’ll bet that Master Beau now feels like a prize cunt in front of his princess…good enough for the fucker too. I may be a yard or two off the pace but I appear to have lost none of that old magic.

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dirty itallians

Casu Marzu? what the fuck?

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The Cunts Corner Bar

Welcome to the Cunts Corner bar. This may well be the only bar still open in a couple of years so please enjoy your time here and drink responsibly. New members always welcome. We are open 24 hours a day.

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